Chapter Six of the book The Origin of Ratha-yātrā, by Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Nārāyaṇa Mahārāja

 

As Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu dances at the Ratha-yātrā Festival, He remembers a poem from a mundane Sanskrit literature called Sāhitya-darpaṇa. He raises His arms and recites that poem in a loud voice:

yaḥ kaumāra-haraḥ sa eva hi varas tā eva caitra-kṣapās
te conmīlita-mālatī-surabhayaḥ prauḍhāḥ kadambānilāḥ
sā caivāsmi tathāpi tatra surata-vyāpāra-līlā-vidhau
revā-rodhasi vetasī-taru-tale cetaḥ samutkaṇṭhate

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.121)

[“That very personality who stole away my heart during my youth is now again my master. These are the same moonlit nights of the month of Caitra. The same fragrance of mālatī flowers is there, and the same sweet breezes are blowing from the kadamba forest. In our intimate relationship, I am also the same lover, yet still my mind is not happy here. I am eager to go back to that place on the bank of the Revā under the Vetasī tree. That is my desire.”]

Mahāprabhu sings, “In our teenage years, when we were twelve or fourteen, we used to meet on the bank of the Revā river, where there were so many fragrant kadamba trees and vetasī canes.” Cane cannot be uprooted, even if there is a strong wind. It will bend according to the wind’s direction; even a flood cannot uproot it. It will simply bend this way and that way. Devotees should be like this vetasī cane in their practice of bhakti.

Mahāprabhu continues, “Although there are thorns in the groves of vetasī cane, we never cared for them when we met. We never cared about any problems. We were talking sweetly on the riverbank, opening our hearts to one another in love and affection, and there was no one to create any walls or problems. But some time has passed, and now we are married. You are my husband, and I am your wife, but I am unhappy. I was happy then, but I am not happy now. We are meeting here, and there is no obstruction. We can live in our home together without shame because we have permission. We can meet now, because we have a ‘passport’ to meet. No one will criticise us now, but we no longer have the love and affection we had at our first meeting. How glorious, how beautiful, how sweet and pleasing was that love! I want you to come to those very groves on the banks of the Revā River, and I want our love and affection to be renewed. I want it to be the same as it was before.”

Mahāprabhu remembers this scene, and He is dancing and weeping, and reciting this verse at the same time: “yaḥ kaumāra-haraḥ – He who stole our youth and teenage years, and played with us, has now become our husband. Our kaumāra age has been stolen away by marriage.”

A girlfriend and boyfriend meet together without being married. They meet very secretly here and there and enjoy themselves. Then, if they get married after some time, there is no longer any restriction, and they can meet freely. Mahāprabhu’s mood is like this, though not exactly the same. In other words, in the mood of the gopīs, and especially in Rādhārāṇī’s mood, He is actually saying, “All Your relatives are here at Kurukṣetra. I cannot meet You in the forest, where we used to meet. There were many good kadamba trees with beautiful flowers, and the air was fragrant. There was no one there to disturb us. Only the two of us sat on the riverbank, talking throughout the day without stopping. We talked continually as we met and pleased each other. I remember this. I do not want a royal palace or vast wealth. I want to be in that place where we used to meet together and sit and talk.”

Giving this example, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu is thinking, “We were meeting there in Vṛndāvana, at Rādhā-kuṇḍa, in Nandagaon, Saṅkeṭa, Ṭera-kadamba, Kadamba-kyārī, and elsewhere.” The air was so fragrant in the beautiful groves of kadamba, and Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa used to meet each other and perform so many pleasant pastimes there. Sometimes They played on swings, and sometimes They gambled. When Śrīmatī Rādhikā used to defeat Kṛṣṇa, everyone on the gopīs’ side clapped, and Kṛṣṇa became very happy even though He was defeated. Sometimes the gopīs stole Kṛṣṇa’s flute, and He would look for it here and there. He would say, “Oh, I will die if you keep My flute. Why are you keeping it? I must search everywhere to see where you have kept it.”

The gopīs remember these pastimes, and they tell Kṛṣṇa at Kurukṣetra, “If You come to Vṛndāvana, we will meet freely there once again. We cannot meet You here, because there are thousands and thousands of horses, elephants, and soldiers. Grandfather Bhīṣma, Droṇācārya, and many kings are here; Vasudeva and Devakī are here; and especially, all Your queens are here.”

Kṛṣṇa asks the gopīs, “What shall I do?” They reply, “We want You to come with us to Vṛndāvana. We are experiencing some happiness in our meeting, but it’s not complete. We cannot talk with You here in front of the others; there is so much opulence here. We remember Vṛndāvana when we were kiśora and kiśorī. You were kiśora at that time, entering Your teenage years, and You were more beautiful than in Your childhood. There was no restriction at all at that time. We met freely in the shade of the kadamba trees, where the fragrance of the belī, cāmelī, and jūhī flowers mixed. We talked with each other happily, and there was no need for a mediator.”

This is the hidden meaning of the poem of the mundane poet, which Śrī Rūpa Gosvāmī transformed into his own poem. Rūpa Gosvāmī heard this śloka from Mahāprabhu, and he at once wrote another śloka that explained it: “I am that same Rādhā, and You are that same Kṛṣṇa. We used to be lover and beloved. There was no mediator then, and we met freely. So many cuckoos were singing, and peacocks were dancing there. Now we are meeting here, but there is not as much pleasure as when we met freely in Vṛndāvana. We want You to come with us to Vṛndāvana, to play with all the gopas and gopīs. You should make Your friends happy, and we will also become happy by dancing and singing with You freely there.”

Rādhikā is like that lover, and Kṛṣṇa is like Her beloved. They were meeting in Vṛndāvana outside of marriage, dancing in rāsa-līlā, and meeting each other and pleasing each other. Sometimes Kṛṣṇa massaged Rādhikā’s feet, and sometimes He applied red lac to Her feet. Sometimes Rādhikā placed Her foot on Kṛṣṇa’s head, and Her footprint became like a stamp on it because the red lac was fresh and moist. That stamp stated: “Now You are Mine.” Now Kṛṣṇa becomes ready. A chariot is there, and that chariot is the gopīs’ hearts. They have made their hearts like a chariot, and now they tell Kṛṣṇa to sit there. They say, “You should sit on this chariot of our hearts and come to Vṛndāvana. We will never give You up. You will always remain there.” All the gopīs become very happy as they take Kṛṣṇa to Vṛndāvana on the chariot of their hearts, and Caitanya Mahāprabhu is bringing this same mood to Purī.

During the Ratha-yātrā Festival, bringing Kṛṣṇa (in the form of Jagannātha) to His chariot is a very difficult and dangerous task. Many strong, tall, and beautiful dayitās wrap their cādars around themselves as wrestlers would, and then, imitating the mood of the gopīs, they tie Jagannātha-deva with ropes. They “abuse” Him in so many ways, addressing Him, “Sālā, Sālā!” Sālā means “brother-in-law,” but in India, the word is also used to abuse others. The dayitās are telling Kṛṣṇa, “We don’t know where You took birth, or who Your mother and father are. Perhaps You are fatherless and motherless.” This is like an abuse. It is not certain who Kṛṣṇa’s father is – Vasudeva or Nanda Mahārāja. Neither is it certain who is actually His mother; in fact, no one is actually His mother. The gopīs hurl so much abuse at Kṛṣṇa as they pull Him on the chariot of their hearts, and during the festival attended by Mahāprabhu, Jagannātha-deva is pulled by hundreds and hundreds of big wrestlers who jostle Him back and forth to make Him move forward. He is well-decorated with jewels and many garlands and wears very large peacock feathers on His head.

Then, a very big problem arises when Jagannātha-deva approaches His chariot to get up on it. Sometimes, He slips from above. Sometimes He does not reach His throne on the chariot, even after two, three, four, or five hours, and sometimes even for the whole day. There are always many parties continually performing kīrtana and chanting, “Jaya Jagannātha! Jaya Jagannātha! Jaya Jagannātha, Subhadrā, and Baladeva!”, “Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare,” and “sei ta parāṇa-nātha pāinu.”

In this way, there were many kīrtanas, and millions of people were pulling the chariots.

“ ‘sei ta parāṇa-nātha pāinu
yāhā lāgi’ madana-dahane jhuri’ genu’ ”

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.113)

[“Now I have gained the Lord of My life, in the absence of whom I was being burned by Cupid and was withering away.”]

Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu becomes completely immersed in this mood, and Jagannātha is totally absorbed in Mahāprabhu’s dancing and singing. His chariot makes the sound, “haḍa haḍa, haḍa haḍa.”

gaura yadi pāche cale, śyāma haya sthire
gaura āge cale, śyāma cale dhīre-dhīre

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.118)

[“When Caitanya Mahāprabhu was dramatically enacting the song, He would sometimes fall behind in the procession. At such times, Lord Jagannātha would come to a standstill. When Caitanya Mahāprabhu again went forward, Lord Jagannātha’s car would slowly start again.”]

These are very pleasing pastimes. Who made it so? Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu Himself. The Ratha-yātrā Festival was not like this at first. Before Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s time, there was only one ratha. It carried Jagannātha, Subhadrā, and Baladeva and was pulled by their servants and elephants, but there was no kīrtana or special mood. Mahāprabhu introduced these moods through His dancing and singing when He joined along with His associates, such as Vakreśvara Paṇḍita and others, in His kīrtana party. Hundreds of thousands of devotees also began to join from Bengal, Orissa, and other places, and all in all, there were not less than four million devotees.

Sometimes Caitanya Mahāprabhu wanted to test Jagannātha.* He thought, “Will Kṛṣṇa go forward or not, if I do not come?” He therefore went behind Jagannātha’s chariot, and then the chariot stopped. Thousands of elephants pulled, and millions of people were chanting, “Jaya Jagannātha-deva! Jaya Jagannātha-deva!” but Jagannātha became “deaf” at that time, and did not hear them. Instead, He stood in one place for hours and hours, until Mahāprabhu came forward and sang. Then Mahāprabhu said, “Everyone else can stop trying. I will do it alone.” He placed His head against the chariot and pushed it, and it began moving in a good way. The chariot stopped when Mahāprabhu was behind it, and moved when He proceeded in front, dancing and singing. In this way Jagannātha watched the dancing and singing of Caitanya Mahāprabhu, and it took two or three days to reach the Guṇḍicā Mandira.

Mahāprabhu sang:

“ ‘sei ta parāṇa-nātha pāinu
yāhā lāgi’ madana-dahane jhuri’ genu’ ”

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.113)

[“Now I have gained the Lord of My life, in the absence of whom I was being burned by Cupid and was withering away.”]

We should feel some separation from Kṛṣṇa. We begin by feeling separation from gurudeva and devotees, and gradually develop that feeling for Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. This is our objective, and it has been explained very beautifully and sweetly in Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta.

The gopīs are weeping and half-dead when they first reach Kṛṣṇa. Then, when they meet Him, their whole mood pours from their hearts, and they weep even more bitterly. In their lives, they have never wept as they do on this day. They have become almost senseless and are about to die, but now they finally have the chance to come and meet Kṛṣṇa.

śrī-śuka uvāca
gopyaś ca kṛṣṇam upalabhya cirād abhīṣṭaṁ
yat-prekṣaṇe dṛśiṣu pakṣma-kṛtaṁ śapanti
dṛgbhir hṛdī-kṛtam alaṁ parirabhya sarvās
tad-bhāvam āpur api nitya-yujāṁ durāpam

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.82.39)

[“(Śukadeva Gosvāmī said:) ‘While gazing at their beloved Kṛṣṇa, the young gopīs used to condemn the creator of their eyelids, (which would momentarily block their vision of Him). Now, seeing Kṛṣṇa again after such a long separation, with their eyes they took Him into their hearts, and there they embraced Him to their full satisfaction. In this way they became totally absorbed in ecstatic meditation on Him, although those who constantly practice mystic yoga find such absorption difficult to achieve.’ ”]

Now, when Kṛṣṇa sees the gopīs, He also weeps more loudly than before.

Śrī Vyāsadeva and Śrī Śukadeva Gosvāmī explain how they meet. A person becomes like this if he dies and then, by good fortune, is restored to life. The gopīs are all as if dead, but they come to life again when they see Kṛṣṇa. Here Śukadeva Gosvāmī says: “kṛṣṇam upalabhya cirād abhīṣṭam – they are meeting Kṛṣṇa after a long time.” With their eyes, they take Him into their hearts and embrace Him very tightly. It is there that they become as one, and this is especially true for Śrīmatī Rādhikā.

Lakṣmī, who resides on Nārāyaṇa’s chest as a curl of golden-white hair, always remembers Kṛṣṇa in her heart, and the ṛṣis and munis who have purified their hearts do so as well. Still, Kṛṣṇa’s lotus feet never actually manifest in their hearts. They try to, but no such event ever occurs. On the other hand, these gopīs, who are weeping and feeling profound separation, take Kṛṣṇa into their hearts and embrace Him there.

They cannot speak. They want to speak, but they cannot; so Kṛṣṇa Himself says, “O gopīs, My friends! You are the life of My life. I know you were feeling terrible separation, thinking I was cruel-hearted. You gave up everything for Me – your husbands, homes, wealth, reputation, and everything else. You even gave up your Vedic religious principles of chastity for My sake, but I left you. Please forgive Me for this. You must be thinking that I am a very ungrateful creature, but I am not ungrateful to you. I always remember you.”

After some time, when their weeping subsides, Kṛṣṇa tells them:

ahaṁ hi sarva-bhūtānām
ādir anto ’ntaraṁ bahiḥ
bhautikānāṁ yathā khaṁ vār
bhūr vāyur jyotir aṅganāḥ

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.82.45)

[“Dear ladies, I am the beginning and end of all created beings and exist both within and without them, just as the elements ether, water, earth, air and fire are the beginning and end of all material objects and exist both within and without them.”]

“My dear gopīs, I want to tell you a secret. Have you heard that I am the Supreme Personality of Godhead? Really, I am. You should know that I am Viṣṇu. I am everywhere, in everyone’s heart, and even in the hearts of animals, grass, water and air particles. I am in your hearts as well. I am everywhere, and therefore, you are never separate from Me.

“An earthen vessel cannot be separated from the earth from which it is made. You are My parts, so you are like My body. You are made of Me, and I am everywhere. I am inside and outside, and up and down. I am within you, so why do you feel separated? You should go into a trance. Meditate on Me, and then you will realise that I am everywhere. You should think that your body, mind, and everything are made of My love and affection. Think about Me and remember Me, and do not be upset. I am always with you.”

When the gopīs hear this, their feelings of separation intensify, and their mood changes to one of anger. They tell Kṛṣṇa, not by words, but by mood, “O big cheater, You are black inside and outside. You always want to cheat us. We know You are not Bhagavān; You are not the Supreme Personality of Godhead. We have known You from the beginning. We know that You came from Mother Yaśodā’s womb. You were always weeping for her milk and wandering here and there, telling lies. You put earth in Your mouth, and then You told Your mother, ‘I have not eaten earth!’ You were always stealing butter and milk in the houses of the elderly gopīs and telling them, ‘I have never stolen anything.’ Bhagavān cannot be like this. Bhagavān cannot steal the garments of young girls and make them naked. Can He do that? Why would He do that? Would the Supreme Personality of Godhead do that?

“We know that You are very passionate. You used to call us by the melody of Your flute: ‘Rādhā! Rādhā! Lalitā! Viśākhā!’ You called all the gopīs by playing ‘klīṁ’ on Your flute, and then we came and danced with You. Why would the Supreme Personality of Godhead come and dance with us? We also know that You kept Your sweet vaṁśī and Your head at Rādhikā’s lotus feet, and You begged for Her forgiveness. Would the Supreme Personality of Godhead behave like this? Never. You are cheating. We know that You are not Bhagavān.”

āhuś ca te nalina-nābha padāravindaṁ
yogeśvarair hṛdi vicintyam agādha-bodhaiḥ
saṁsāra-kūpa-patitottaraṇāvalambaṁ
gehaṁ juṣām api manasy udiyāt sadā naḥ

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.82.48)

[“(The gopīs spoke thus:) ‘Dear Lord, whose navel is just like a lotus flower, Your lotus feet are the only shelter for those who have fallen into the deep well of material existence. Your feet are worshipped and meditated upon by great mystic yogīs and highly learned philosophers. We wish that these lotus feet may also be awakened within our hearts, although we are only ordinary persons engaged in household affairs.’ ”]

The gopīs speak the words of this śloka externally, but their real mood is hidden. Internally, they say, “You Yourself are drowning in the well of separation from our love and affection. We know this, and only we can save You. You cannot save us. We are powerful and can give You life by our love and affection. When You tell us, ‘You should meditate,’ it is like a joke; this is a laughing matter for us. You tell us, ‘You should meditate on Me,’ but don’t You remember that we were playing with You from the beginning of our lives? Brahmā, Śaṅkara, Śukadeva Gosvāmī, and others can meditate on Your lotus feet – and nothing but Your lotus feet – in their hearts, but it may be that these feet will still not come into their hearts. On the other hand, we have kept those same feet directly on our breasts. Why? We want to please and give You satisfaction because You become happy when we keep Your feet there.

“Brahmā was born from the lotus-navel of Padmanābha Viṣṇu, so he is like that lotus flower. His intelligence is quite dull, because he has come from the stem of an inert lotus. How can demigods like Brahmā know anything? They can pray to You and believe that You are the Supreme Lord. They can believe that You can create this entire universe in a second and then destroy it. They can glorify You like this, but we have known You from the beginning of Your birth and know You now. These demigods and yogīs may pray to You for salvation, or they may pray to You that Your lotus feet may appear in their hearts. They should do so because they are as foolish as anything.

“We are not like them; we are very clever and intelligent. We know who You really are: You are only a black cheater. You can cheat anyone, and You can even easily take our hearts. Brahmā says – and others say so, too – that if anyone in this world is drowning in the well of birth and death, and suffering greatly from old age and all kinds of troubles and problems, he can chant Your name and escape from that well. But we are not in a well like that.

“We are not like Brahmā, that we will meditate on You. We are hankering for Your satisfaction, not for our own. We know You will die without us, so we have mercifully come to You. Don’t think we have come to enjoy our own happiness; we want You to be happy. We have come here because we want You to remain alive. We are not weeping for ourselves. We are weeping for You, because You are helpless. No one can satisfy You except us, and especially our sakhī Rādhikā. She is Your life and soul.

“If You want to be happy forever, please come onto the chariot of our hearts. We will take You where our minds and hearts reside and satisfy You there, not here. We don’t want to meet You here, because we cannot satisfy You here. Here, You have thousands of wives, so many children, so many generals, a great army, and so many friends, ṛṣis, and maharṣis. But we remember Vṛndāvana.”

Kṛṣṇa tells the gopīs, “You should remember Me and see Me in trance. I am always there with you. I cannot give you up.” Now He personally tells them what He explained in the Bhagavad-gītā, what He had requested Uddhava to tell them, and what He had asked Baladeva Prabhu to tell them: “You should always remember Me as Paramātmā, as the yogīs do.”

Somewhat angry, the gopīs continue their reply with this śloka:

anyera hṛdaya — mana, mora mana — vṛndāvana,
‘mane’ ‘vane’ eka kari’ jāni
tāhāṅ tomāra pada-dvaya, karāha yadi udaya,
tabe tomāra pūrṇa kṛpā māni

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.137)

[“(Speaking in the mood of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Caitanya Mahāprabhu said:) ‘For most people, the mind and heart are one, but because My mind is never separated from Vṛndāvana, I consider My mind and Vṛndāvana to be one. My mind is already Vṛndāvana, and since You like Vṛndāvana, will You please place Your lotus feet there? I would deem that Your full mercy.’ ”]

Mahāprabhu remembers Kurukṣetra and thinks, “I am Rādhikā, and all my friends, the gopīs, are in Kurukṣetra with Nanda Bābā and Yaśodā.” From there, the gopīs carry Kṛṣṇa on their mano-ratha (the chariot of their hearts). They always carry Him in that way.

In Rādhikā’s mood, Mahāprabhu tells Jagannātha-deva, “Our hearts and minds are the same, and especially, our hearts are Vṛndāvana. Others’ hearts are not.” We try to make our hearts and minds one, making them both like Vṛndāvana. We want to be in Vṛndāvana, but our hearts are not there because our minds and hearts are made of material things. The gopīs are quite different, and they tell Kṛṣṇa, “Our hearts are Vṛndāvana. You have said, ‘You should remember Me in trance,’ but we are not yogīs. We are ordinary people, and we were with You from the beginning of our lives; from birth.”

Yogīs can meditate in a trance, and sometimes they can see the lotus feet of Paramātmā, but not of Kṛṣṇa. Paramātmā is not aṁśī (the origin). The origin of Paramātmā is Garbhodakaśāyī Viṣṇu, and His origin is Kāraṇodakaśāyī Viṣṇu. His origin is Mahā-saṅkarṣaṇa, His origin is Mūla-saṅkarṣaṇa, His origin is Baladeva Prabhu, and His origin is Kṛṣṇa.

The gopīs continue, “We always kept Your feet on our breasts and upon our laps. We played with those feet. And what to speak of Your feet – You used to massage our feet with Your hands. We played with You as friends from the beginning, from our childhood. You could not be separated from us at that time. You were always with us, playing here and there in the groves of Govardhana, and we used to dance with You at Vaṁśīvaṭa. We are not like yogīs. In their trance, they may think, ‘I pray that the lotus feet of Paramātmā should appear in my heart,’ but those feet never come; they may appear, but rarely. As far as we are concerned, we want to forget You – to forget You. The root of all our problems is remembering You and Your pastimes – especially remembering You – so we want to forget You.

If You can forget us, why can we not forget You? But this is the problem: we cannot forget You. We want to give You up, but we cannot. We can give You up in the sense that You can leave Vṛndāvana, as You have done – no harm. But we cannot give up remembering Your pastimes.”

Previously, when Kṛṣṇa resided in Vṛndāvana, the gopīs used to say, “Don’t have any relation with that black person, that cheater. Stay far away from Him and don’t utter His name. He is the biggest cheater. If anyone remembers Him, hears His pastimes, or chants His name, that person will become bewildered, like a mad person. If you wish to live with your husband, sisters, brothers, fathers, and other family members and remain very happy with them, then don’t remember this boy or have any relationship with Him. We have seen that those who remember Him become like birds. Birds have no homes to live in and no fields to grow flowers, wheat, or anything else. They have nothing. Similarly, if anyone hears, chants, and remembers Kṛṣṇa’s glories, they become like street beggars.”

Now, at Kurukṣetra, they tell Kṛṣṇa, “We can give You up, as You have given us up. In other words, You live in a very distant place, and we can also live far away from You. But we cannot give up remembering You. You instruct us to remember You, but we wonder why You are giving us such instructions. We have always remembered You since childhood, yet You say, ‘You should remember Me.’ We want to forget You forever, and not remember anything about You. We laugh at Your words. You tell very learned Ph.D. scholars, ‘Oh, you should go to primary school and learn A-B-C-D.’ ”

The gopīs begin to weep loudly, and at that time Kṛṣṇa tells them:

mayi bhaktir hi bhūtānām
amṛtatvāya kalpate
diṣṭyā yad āsīn mat-sneho
bhavatīnāṁ mad-āpanaḥ

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.82.44)

[“Rendering devotional service to Me qualifies any living being for eternal life. But by your good fortune you have developed a special loving attitude toward Me, by which you have obtained Me.”]

Only Vedic Hindus can enter Lord Jagannātha’s temple in Purī; no Western or Eastern devotees are allowed in. The temple administrators are very strict. Those who are not actually Hindu by birth cannot enter, even if they were born in India. Indira Gandhi, the former Prime Minister of India, was born into a brāhmaṇa family, but she left her brahminical religion and married a Muslim. She was a powerful and wealthy person, but still the pāṇḍās of Purī never allowed her or her son Rajiv Gandhi to enter the temple. They told them, “You can come to Purī, but you cannot enter the temple.” There are numerous police guards stationed everywhere, at all four doors of the temple. Not even a bird from a Western or Eastern country can enter; even Western air cannot get in there.

The guards once checked me at the gate. They said, “Your eyes are not like the Hindus’ eyes, and you have a rather fair complexion.” I wasn’t that fair, but they still checked me. My paṇḍā was there, and he told them, “O bogus people, he is my client.” And he took me inside.

The guards are very strict, but Kṛṣṇa is very funny and “tricky.” They may make these rules, but Kṛṣṇa does not. Kṛṣṇa – that is, Jagannātha, Baladeva, Subhadrā, and Sudarśana cakra – come out on the road, and they do not move quickly at all. They are not in a hurry. Sometimes they stand at the same place for a day, two days, or even three days, abundantly giving Their darśana to all. Jagannātha comes with Subhadrā and Baladeva, by a “trick,” as Patita-pāvana (the deliverer of the most fallen). He is Patita-pāvana, and He belongs to everyone. He does not make any distinction between an Indian devotee, a brāhmaṇa, a kṣatriya, or a Western devotee, and that is why He plays a trick. He thinks, “I will remain in the temple for the entire year, but for these nine or ten days I will be Patita-pāvana. I will go onto the street, and then everyone can receive My darśana and be liberated.”

Kṛṣṇa is very merciful, and His devotees are more merciful still. You could not have called parama-pūjyapāda Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Svāmī Mahārāja to preach in the West, and you have not called me. Our guru-varga (disciplic succession) has sent me, and Śrīla Svāmī Mahārāja came because his gurudeva mercifully ordered him to preach throughout Western countries. Śrīla Svāmī Mahārāja also came through his own compassion and mercy. He came on a ship belonging to Scindia Navigation, and, in his human-like pastimes, he almost died of a heart attack on the way. He thought, “Will I die? What will happen?” But Kṛṣṇa’s mercy was with him. Kṛṣṇa wanted him to come, so he came; and he preached with immediate effect.

Kṛṣṇa also played a trick on Arjuna during the Mahābhārata battle. He told him:

sarva-dharmān parityajya
mām ekaṁ śaraṇaṁ vraja
ahaṁ tvāṁ sarva-pāpebhyo
mokṣayiṣyāmi mā śucaḥ

Bhagavad-gītā (18.66)

[“Abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear.”]

This is the best instruction to Arjuna in the Bhagavad-gītā, but Mahāprabhu still rejected it. When He met Rāmānanda Rāya at Godāvarī, He told him, “These are external things. Say something more.” Why did He reject this statement? Arjuna felt great pain when Kṛṣṇa gave him this instruction. He thought, “How ‘funny’ Kṛṣṇa is. He is telling me to be śaraṇāgata (surrendered). But He has been my bosom friend for so many years. He has even slept with me in the same bed.”

Sometimes Arjuna used to place his feet on Kṛṣṇa’s chest when they both lay down together, and Rukmiṇī and Satyabhāmā fanned them with cāmaras. At the same time, Kṛṣṇa’s feet lay upon Arjuna’s chest, and Draupadī and Subhadrā fanned at the other end of the bed. Kṛṣṇa was very happy to lie in the same bed as Arjuna, and also to take prasāda remnants with him.

Arjuna thought, “Friends are far superior to śaraṇāgatas, yet He tells me to surrender. Haven’t I surrendered? Why is this tricky person telling me this?” Arjuna was not satisfied, just as the gopīs were not satisfied, so Kṛṣṇa told him, “Don’t worry. I am not giving you these instructions. I am giving it to others through you.”

Now, at Kurukṣetra, the gopīs also complain to Kṛṣṇa.

Mādhurya (sweetness) and aiśvarya (opulence) can never exist together. There is immense opulence in Dvārakā. There, Kṛṣṇa cannot say, “I am the son of Nanda Bābā and Yaśodā;” He is bound to say, “I am a kṣatriya, and I am the son of Vasudeva and Devakī.” He cannot wear a peacock feather and cannot play His flute. In Dvārakā, He is surrounded by many thousands of rāja-maharṣis, queens, horses, and so on, so the gopīs request Him, “We want You to come to Vṛndāvana.”

The gopīs seem to be very selfish. Why did they request Kṛṣṇa, “You should give up all the thousands of devotees in Mathurā and Dvārakā, and come to Vṛndāvana”? I am giving a very simple answer. All the Vrajavāsīs, and especially the gopīs, know Kṛṣṇa’s heart. In Vraja, Kṛṣṇa is not like the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The Vrajavāsīs cannot think of Him in that way, even in dreams. They can only think that He is the son of Nanda Bābā and Yaśodā, the beloved of all the gopīs, and the friend of Śrīdāmā and Subala Sakhā.

All the Vrajavāsīs want Kṛṣṇa to be happy in every way, and they also know that He is always very shy. Therefore, Nanda Bābā, Yaśodā, and all the gopīs and friends have to be very tricky with Him. They know that He will be shy to eat butter when Yaśodā offers it to Him, so she plays many tricks to induce Him to eat. Once she told Him, “Oh Kṛṣṇa, You are so weak, but still You don’t want to take any bread and butter and other prasāda. How will Your śikhā become thick like Baladeva’s? You see? Baladeva is very strong, and his śikhā is very thick and long. But You are so weak. We cannot compare You with Him.” Kṛṣṇa replied, “Mother, I want to defeat Baladeva. Please give Me bread and butter.” This is how Yaśodā and others trick Kṛṣṇa to make Him eat.

Yaśodā had previously thought, “Kṛṣṇa is going to become weak, because He doesn’t want to eat anything.” She therefore called Śrīmatī Rādhikā from Yāvaṭa by a trick, by regularly sending Rādhikā’s in-laws in Yāvaṭa vast wealth in the form of many jewels, ornaments, and garments. Why did Yaśodā call Śrīmatī Rādhikā? She considered, “Kṛṣṇa doesn’t eat very much, because He becomes shy and cannot admit His hunger. But He will become very strong if He eats what Rādhikā cooks.** If I send these gifts to Her in-laws, they will surely send Her to cook.” As a result of Yaśodā’s trick, Śrīmatī Rādhikā comes and prepares manohara-laḍḍu, amṛta-keli, and so many other dishes.

No one in Mathurā or Dvārakā can give Kṛṣṇa delicious food like Yaśodā-maiyā, and Kṛṣṇa can never address other elderly relatives, “Mother! Mother!” Yaśodā-maiyā cooked a great variety of preparations through Rohiṇī, Rādhikā, Lalitā, and Viśākhā. She would call them to her kitchen, and they would quickly prepare many delicious dishes. Then, if Kṛṣṇa were not eating, Mother Yaśodā would come over and tell Him, “Oh, I have made a vow to Nārāyaṇa that You will eat this. If You don’t eat, Nārāyaṇa will be disappointed with You, which will be very inauspicious for You.” She would request Him again, and then He would take His meal. Neither Devakī nor anyone else in Dvārakā knew all these tricks. Kṛṣṇa may have felt hungry there but was too shy to ask for anything.

All the gopīs know how Yaśodā-maiyā used to trick Kṛṣṇa into taking those preparations, so they think, “He will always be neglected in Dvārakā. He cannot say, ‘Mother, give me bread and butter.’ ” The gopīs remember Kṛṣṇa’s shy nature. Sometimes He would want something from them and play on His flute to call them all. But then, when they came to Him, He would tell them, “You should return home now.” In His heart, He thought, “I want to dance with the gopīs,” and the gopīs thought, “We want to satisfy Kṛṣṇa.” But because Kṛṣṇa was tricky, He would tell them, “You should all return home.” However, the gopīs are also tricky, and they knew how to satisfy Him. They would tell Him, “Oh, You are our guru, and we are all Your disciples. Disciples should worship their guru; after that, they can worship their husbands or even Nārāyaṇa. If someone is not worshipping his guru, he cannot satisfy the Supreme Personality of Godhead (Nārāyaṇa). Therefore, You will be an offender of the Vedas if You do not accept this worship.”

ye yathā māṁ prapadyante
tāṁs tathaiva bhajāmy aham
mama vartmānuvartante
manuṣyāḥ pārtha sarvaśaḥ

Bhagavad-gītā (4.11)

[“As all surrender unto Me, I reward them accordingly. Everyone follows My path in all respects, O son of Pṛthā.”]

The gopīs would thus defeat Kṛṣṇa by clever words so that He could engage in the rāsa dance with them. Kṛṣṇa desired to touch their bodies, but they would tell Him, “Oh, You cannot touch us. You should remain far away.” They were always able to satisfy Kṛṣṇa by continually increasing His greed.

Kṛṣṇa can only be satisfied by these tricks, which are not known in Dvārakā or Mathurā, or any other place in the world. Thus, the gopīs are selfless. There are no blemishes in their hearts, and they have no desire other than to please Kṛṣṇa. They serve Kṛṣṇa totally with all their senses, minds, and souls, and He is always indebted to them.

Now Kṛṣṇa assures them, “Those who are engaged in the process of attaining My love and affection – beginning with śraddhā, niṣṭhā, ruci, and so on – are all fortunate. But even more fortunate are those with prema, sneha, praṇaya, and beyond. You have these qualities and attract Me to come to Vṛndāvana very soon. Don’t worry. I must come to you, because you have sneha, māna, praṇaya, rāga, anurāga, bhāva, and mahābhāva. Your qualities charm and attract Me, and they will also compel Me to return with you to Vṛndāvana.”

The gopīs tell Kṛṣṇa, “You should come on our chariot.” Their chariot are their minds and hearts, the same as Vṛndāvana. “You should come to Vṛndāvana, and then we will think You are entering our trance. This is ‘trance’ – that You should come to Vṛndāvana.”

Śrīmatī Rādhikā is reminding Kṛṣṇa – that is, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu is reminding Kṛṣṇa as Jagannātha: “We are those unmarried teenage girls. We used to meet in Vṛndāvana with love and affection under the kadamba trees.”

Try to understand the meaning of prema. In English, there is no exact word for prema; there are only words such as “love” and “affection.” In Sanskrit, however, each word has a special meaning. All the stages of prema, such as āsakti, bhāva, prema, sneha, māna, praṇaya, rāga, anurāga, and so on, have specific meanings.

What kind of love does Rādhikā have for Kṛṣṇa? Her love increases more and more, even in the face of circumstances that should diminish it. This is the meaning of prema.

Kṛṣṇa left Rādhikā, the gopīs, and the other Vrajavāsīs and went to Mathurā, where He took upanayana-saṁskāra (brahminical initiation), became a kṣatriya, and declared, “I am the son of Devakī and Vasudeva. I am a Yādava.” After that, He went to Dvārakā, where He married eight very beautiful princesses, then 16,100 more, and then begot so many children. This should be enough to break anyone’s love and affection, but here you can see the nature of the love and affection that Rādhikā has toward Kṛṣṇa. You can see the nature of the love of Mother Yaśodā and Nanda Bābā, the love of Kṛṣṇa’s friends, and the love of all the Vrajavāsīs, including the cows and other animals. They did not give up their love and affection, although they were actually dying of separation.

In this world, if a husband divorces his wife and marries again, the ex-wife can file a suit in court, and he is required to sign an agreement to provide her with maintenance. She will forcibly take that money, and she may also marry another man. She cannot tolerate the thought that he has given her up, but she will remarry two, three, four, or five times. Thus, here in this world, love and affection stop when there is an obstacle. But there, Rādhikā’s love for Kṛṣṇa and His love for Her did not stop, even though He had so many wives and children, and even though He changed His name. Try to be like the Vrajavāsīs if you want to realise transcendental love. Love in this world is not actually love; it is merely sense gratification and lust. We kick away and divorce our spouses upon the slightest provocation.

Rādhikā knows that Kṛṣṇa has many wives and many children. Now He is like a king, and He has changed into a Yādava – but still Her love increases. This is called transcendental prema. Read these topics, and then go deeply into what you have read. Try to forget yourself, where you are, and what you are doing. Forget everything else, go deep, become wholly absorbed in meditation upon these topics, and then you can realise something of this love. Because you cannot do this, you become weak in your spiritual life. So, try to hear all these topics in an elevated association.

The gopīs have forgotten everything other than Kṛṣṇa. They feel great separation from Him, and consequently, they have become more than yogīs. Through the window of their eyes, they take Him into their hearts, and there they embrace Him so intensely that they lose external consciousness.

I have already described how Kṛṣṇa tried to pacify Rādhārāṇī and the gopīs by saying, “O gopīs, why are you feeling so much separation? I am not away from you for even a moment. There is no separation between clay and a clay statue or mūrti, because the clay is everywhere in the mūrti. Similarly, this physical body is made of five elements – earth, water, fire, air, and ether – so one’s body cannot be separated from them. As one cannot differentiate between the body and these elements, similarly, You are made of My mood.”

Kṛṣṇa is sac-cid-ānanda-vigraha, the complete form of eternity, knowledge, and bliss, and Śrīmatī Rādhikā’s constitutional position is mahābhāva. Because She is the embodiment of mahābhāva, She is called hlādinī-śakti. She and Kṛṣṇa are always combined as the essence of hlādinī and saṁvit. Saṁvit and hlādinī are the same as cit and ānanda, and that is why Kṛṣṇa told Her, “I am always with You. I am sac-cid-ānanda, so how can I be separated from You? I am always in Your body and Your heart.”

I have already explained that the gopīs became very sulky and angry when they heard Kṛṣṇa’s words, and they chastised Him, not by words but by mood: “Why are You telling us these things? We don’t accept Your theory. We are not yogīs. Yogīs worship You and meditate upon You, but they cannot purify their hearts or even minds in thousands and thousands of births. We, on the other hand, want to forget You forever. We were so happy in the homes of our fathers and mothers in Vraja, but You have upset and destroyed everything. We gave You our whole love, one hundred percent, or one hundred and ten percent. We left our fathers, mothers, husbands, children, and everything else. Our relation was very deep when You were in Vraja, and it is the same even today. So we want to forget You forever.

“If You can forget us and all of Your Vṛndāvana – Gokula, Govardhana, and all Your cows, Your calves, Your peacocks, Your deer, and even Your own mother from whom You took birth – then why can we not forget You? This is the problem: we cannot forget You. From the beginning, whenever we were engaged in any household task, we sang, ‘Govinda Dāmodara Mādhaveti, Govinda Dāmodara Mādhaveti.’ Even when we were cleaning our houses, sweeping, or churning yoghurt, tears came from our melting hearts as we remembered Your pastimes and sang, ‘Govinda Dāmodara Mādhaveti,’ ‘Rādhā-ramaṇa hari bol,’ and ‘Govinda jaya jaya.’ ”

In Vraja, the gopīs had always been weeping and lamenting, “O Kṛṣṇa, where are You? Where are You?” Words cannot explain how they were behaving internally and externally. Now at Kurukṣetra, they say, “We want to drive You away from our hearts, but You come inside automatically. You tell us, ‘Give up saṁsāra-kūpa, the deep, dark well of family life,’ and, ‘Meditate upon Me as the yogīs do.’ But where is our family life? We have no saṁsāra-kūpa.”

The gopīs had forgotten their homes, duties, husbands, fathers, and mothers and had even forgotten to eat or see anything. They seemed to look at things just as we do, but they didn’t see anything. They only contemplated, “Where is my beloved Kṛṣṇa?” Only this. It is we who are in the well of family attachment. Still, although the gopīs were not attached to their families as we are, Kṛṣṇa advised them, “Come out of that well and meditate upon Me.” The gopīs now reply:

āhuś ca te nalina-nābha padāravindaṁ
yogeśvarair hṛdi vicintyam agādha-bodhaiḥ
saṁsāra-kūpa-patitottaraṇāvalambaṁ
gehaṁ juṣām api manasy udiyāt sadā naḥ

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.82.48)

[“(The gopīs spoke thus:) ‘Dear Lord, whose navel is just like a lotus flower, Your lotus feet are the only shelter for those who have fallen into the deep well of material existence. Your feet are worshipped and meditated upon by great mystic yogīs and highly learned philosophers. We wish that these lotus feet may also be awakened within our hearts, although we are only ordinary persons engaged in household affairs.’ ”]

This śloka has two meanings. The meaning for general persons and for those who are not very advanced devotees is that the gopīs are requesting Kṛṣṇa, “You are the Supreme Personality of Godhead. O Kamala-nayana, You whose eyes are like reddish lotus petals, are very merciful. We have now fallen into the well of family life and want to remember Your lotus feet as the yogīs do. We want to meditate, so please be merciful to us.”

This meaning is external. Sometimes, when juniors try to instruct superiors, the superiors may reply, “I am very foolish, and you are so intelligent. I want to obey your instructions. Please instruct me how to act properly.” In reality, the senior is angry at heart, and he is actually speaking sarcastically. His real meaning is, “I’m so many years older than you, and I am much more intelligent than you. You’re instructing me, even though you’re so junior to me?” Similarly, the gopīs are in an angry mood, and their deeper meaning is, “O Kṛṣṇa, don’t try to cheat us. We have known You from the beginning and know You are a great cheater. You have been deceiving us for a long time, but now we have become somewhat clever. You can cheat Lakṣmīdevī, You can cheat Your wives in Dvārakā, and You can cheat everyone else; but as for us, we will not enter Your trap.”

anyera hṛdaya — mana, mora mana — vṛndāvana,
‘mane’ ‘vane’ eka kari’ jāni
tāhāṅ tomāra pada-dvaya, karāha yadi udaya,
tabe tomāra pūrṇa kṛpā māni

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.137)

[“(Speaking in the mood of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Caitanya Mahāprabhu said:) ‘For most people, the mind and heart are one, but because My mind is never separated from Vṛndāvana, I consider My mind and Vṛndāvana to be one. My mind is already Vṛndāvana, and since You like Vṛndāvana, will You please place Your lotus feet there? I would deem that Your full mercy.’ ”]

The gopīs tell Kṛṣṇa, “We know, and You should also know, that there is so much difference between the heart and the mind of a worldly person. The heart is always full of love, whereas the mind calculates, ‘What is better for me? What is good? What is bad? This is better; this is not so good.’ The mind can do all this, but the heart can never consider whether or not a person is beautiful, or whether or not he is very intelligent or qualified.”

Rukmiṇī had heard abundant glorification of Kṛṣṇa’s mercy, beauty, and all His other qualities. Because of this, she did not accept the proposal of her friends, parents, and others to give her in marriage to Śiśupāla. They told her, “Kṛṣṇa is not a king; He is only the son of a landlord – and not even that. He is not as qualified as Śiśupāla. Śiśupāla is the King of kings. He is a very beautiful young emperor with a golden complexion, whereas this other person is black and unqualified. When Kṛṣṇa was younger, He always used to tell lies and steal from others’ houses. You should give up that black fellow and marry Śiśupāla.

Try to obey your father, mother, and brother.” Rukmiṇī replied, “Once I have given my heart to someone, I can never reclaim it.” Without the consent of her father, mother, and brother, she then sent a brāhmaṇa to Kṛṣṇa with a message: “I don’t want to marry this jackal. I have given my heart to a lion. How can a jackal come and take me away in the lion’s presence? Everything depends on the lion. I have given myself solely to You, for You are the lion, and I will not go with the jackal. If the lion is not qualified and powerful enough to save me from the jackal, then I will take poison and die.”

Before Umā was married to Śaṅkara, Nārada came and revealed Śaṅkara’s glories to her. After that, Śaṅkara told someone, “Go and test that girl,” so his messenger went to Umā and told her, “Śiva is an unintelligent, bogus man. He is always naked, he wears garlands of skulls and ornaments of snakes, he smears dust from the ashes of corpses all over his body, he wears rudrākṣa beads, he always carries a trident, and he sits on a bull like a mad person. Why have you chosen him to be your husband?”

Her father also told her, “Oh, my dear darling daughter, change your mood. I will marry you to an exalted personality like Viṣṇu, or someone else who is very beautiful. Why have you chosen Śaṅkara?”

Umā told her father, “It may be that Śaṅkara wanders naked, plays with ghosts and witches, ornaments himself with serpents, and sometimes swallows poison. But even if this is true, I will marry him and no one else. I have chosen him for all time, even though he does nothing. I don’t want to give him up. I will marry him.” So many other suitors came, and even Śaṅkara came in disguise to test her, but she did not change her mind.

For worldly persons, for all of you, the mind and heart are different. But these examples confirm that the hearts of elevated personalities never consider whether or not someone is beautiful, or what he has done or not done. The decision to love is “forever.” Anyera hṛdaya mana. For most people, the mind always gives problems. Sometimes it accepts something, and at other times it rejects the same thing; this is called saṅkalpa-vikalpa. But “mora mana vṛndāvana – My mind is Vṛndāvana.” The mind and heart of the gopīs are one.

The gopīs continue, “You have told us, ‘Meditate upon Me,’ but from where does meditation come? It comes from the mind. Understanding comes from the mind. But mora mana vṛndāvana. Let others meditate. You instruct us, ‘You should meditate, and My lotus feet will come in Your meditation.’ Therefore, we will be satisfied if Your lotus feet walk to Vṛndāvana; otherwise, we can never be satisfied.”

Try to make your heart and mind Vṛndāvana, under the guidance of the gopīs. It does not matter whether you are male or female. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu has said that all jīvas – both male and female – are a transformation of taṭastha-śakti (Kṛṣṇa’s marginal potency). We are prakṛti (the potency – feminine gender), not puruṣa (the possessor of the potency – male gender). Try to realise this. If you think very deeply, these meanings will come into your heart, and your heart will be greatly developed. There is no need to do anything else.

If Nārada Ṛṣi comes before the gopīs, however, they will offer him praṇāma, and it may be that they will take the dust of his lotus feet. Nārada Ṛṣi will then think, “I should not upset these gopīs. Kṛṣṇa is my worshipable Lord, and these gopīs are His worshipable deities, so I should not disturb their mood.” Then, after the gopīs leave, he will take their foot-dust and rub it all over his body.

Even Nārada is not qualified to be the foot-dust of the gopīs. He prays for this perfection, but he cannot achieve it. Such perfection is very rarely achieved by anyone, even Brahmā. Śrī Prabodhānanda Sarasvatī has written, “I always remember the dust of Rādhikā’s lotus feet. Even Brahmā, Nārada, Śuka, Śaṅkara, Bhīṣma, and other devotees like them meditate on Kṛṣṇa’s lotus feet so that His lotus feet may enter their hearts. On the other hand, when Kṛṣṇa calls to the maidservants of the gopīs, ‘Come on! Come on!’ they reply, ‘We will not come. We know that You are a cheater.’ Instead of their following Kṛṣṇa, He follows them.”

yat-kiṅkarīṣu bahuśaḥ khalu kāku-vāṇī
nityaṁ parasya puruṣasya śikhaṇḍa-mauleḥ
tasyāḥ kadā rasa-nidheḥ vṛṣabhānu-jāyās
tat-keli-kuṣja-bhavanāṅgana-mārjanī syām

Rādhā-rasa-sudhā-nidhi (8)

[“O daughter of Vṛṣabhānu Mahārāja, O ocean of rasa! The Supreme Bhagavān, the source of all incarnations who wears a peacock feather in His hair, falls at the feet of Your maidservants and propitiates them with many humble and grief-stricken words to be allowed entrance into Your kuñja where You engage in playful, amorous pastimes. I would consider my life a success if I could become one straw in the broom used by Your maidservants to clean Your delightful grove.”]

Kṛṣṇa knocks at the door of the gopīs’ kuñja, and Śrī Rūpa Mañjarī and Śrī Rati Mañjarī stand there in a somewhat angry mood. They tell Kṛṣṇa, “Go back at once, You cheater. Go back! You cannot come and meet Śrīmatī Rādhikā. She is angry with You now and has told us, ‘Be aware that this cheater may come in a disguise. Although disguised as a gopī or someone else, He will be that same Kṛṣṇa, the friend of Subala. I don’t want to see anything black. Not even a black bumblebee should enter My kuñja. You should even remove your black kajjala before you come here.’ ”

Kṛṣṇa then offers His head at the lotus feet of Rūpa Mañjarī and her sakhīs, and begs them, “Please allow me to go there, just for a moment.” They reply, “Never!” How can we imagine the greatness of Rādhikā’s position? Śrī Prabodhānanda Sarasvatī concludes, “I want to be a broom – and not even a whole broom, just one straw of a broom – that is used for sweeping Rādhikā’s kuñja.” How glorious She is!

After citing the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam verse beginning ahuś ca te nalina-nābha pādāravindaṁ, Śrīla Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Gosvāmī quotes the gopīs (Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Madhya-līlā 1.82):

tomāra caraṇa mora vraja-pura-ghare
udaya karaye yadi, tabe vāñchā pūre

[“The gopīs thought, ‘Dear Lord, if Your lotus feet again come to our home in Vṛndāvana, our desires will be fulfilled.’ ”]

The gopīs tell Kṛṣṇa, “O Prāṇanātha! Vraja is our life and soul. We are telling You the truth: Vraja is our home. If You do not come and meet us in Vṛndāvana, we will not be able to remain alive. We will die at once. Fish become restless the moment they are taken out of water, and the next moment they are dead. We are in an even worse condition than that. Fish may have a moment to live, but we cannot live even that long.”

Śrīla Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Gosvāmī then quotes Rūpa Gosvāmī’s deep explanation of that same Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam verse:

yā te līlā-rasa-parimalodgāri-vanyāparītā
dhanyā kṣauṇī vilasati vṛtā māthurī mādhurībhiḥ
tatrāsmābhiś caṭula-paśupī-bhāva-mugdhāntarābhiḥ
saṁvītas tvaṁ kalaya vadanollāsi-veṇur vihāram

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 1.84)

[“(The gopīs continued:) ‘Dear Kṛṣṇa, the fragrance of the mellows of Your pastimes is spread throughout the forests of the glorious land of Vṛndāvana, which is surrounded by the sweetness of the district of Mathurā. In the congenial atmosphere of that wonderful land, You may enjoy Your pastimes, with Your flute dancing on Your lips, and surrounded by us, the gopīs, whose hearts are always enchanted by unpredictable ecstatic emotions.’ ”]

The gopīs are sad and feel separation when they see Kṛṣṇa in the royal dress of a prince of Dvārakā. Similarly, in their mood, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu felt separation when He sometimes saw Baladeva and Subhadrā along with Jagannātha. Usually, He saw only Jagannātha as Vrajendra-nandana, but when He saw the three deities there, He immediately remembered the gopīs’ pastimes at Kurukṣetra.

ei-mata mahāprabhu dekhi’ jagannāthe
subhadrā-sahita dekhe, vaṁśī nāhi hāte

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 1.85)

[“In this way, when Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu saw Jagannātha, He saw that the Lord was with His sister Subhadrā and was not holding a flute in His hand.”]

tri-bhaṅga-sundara vraje vrajendra-nandana
kāhāṅ pāba, ei vāñchā bāḍe anukṣaṇa

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 1.86)

[“Absorbed in the ecstasy of the gopīs, Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu wished to see Lord Jagannātha in His original form as Kṛṣṇa, the son of Nanda Mahārāja, standing in Vṛndāvana and appearing very beautiful, His body curved in three places. His desire to see that form was always increasing.”]

The gopīs are actually telling Kṛṣṇa, not by their words but by their mood, “Kṛṣṇa, You cheater, You should know that our minds and hearts are the same. Our heart is Vṛndāvana. Tāhāṅ tomāra pada-dvaya karāha yadi udaya tabe tomāra pūrṇa kṛpā māni (Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Madhya-līlā 13.137): If you come to Vṛndāvana with us, You can meet us there with Your flute. Don’t forget Your flute and peacock feather. And You should change Your dress. You will have to be the son of Nanda and Yaśodā. Be Gopī-kānta and Rādhā-kānta, and then You can enter Vṛndāvana. Otherwise, don’t come. We will not allow You to enter.”

The moods of Lord Jagannātha’s Chariot Festival are very, very mysterious. It seems from an external point of view that Kṛṣṇa instructed Śrīmatī Rādhikā and the gopīs, “You should chant, remember, and meditate on Me. Then you can realise My lotus feet in your heart, and by that meditation, you will come out of the well of worldly attachment.” It also seems that the gopīs appreciated this instruction and replied, “You have given us good instruction. From now on, we will meditate on You and remember You, and then we will be able to come out of the well of worldly life and give up all kinds of attachments.”

However, as I have already explained, the actual mood of the gopīs is quite different. Externally, their words seem to have a particular meaning, but Śrīla Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja has revealed their inner purport. He heard this meaning from Śrīla Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī, who had understood everything from Śrīla Svarūpa Dāmodara and Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī and had noted it all down. Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Gosvāmī’s explanation, therefore, follows the words of Svarūpa Dāmodara and especially those of Rūpa Gosvāmī.

Although the gopīs are not satisfied at all by Kṛṣṇa’s instruction, their anger is also a tie of love and affection – a crooked tie. The gopīs are actually saying, “You’ve just told us to meditate, and You previously sent Uddhava and Baladeva Prabhu, who also delivered Your message: ‘Meditate on Me.’ You must be joking! Where are our attachments to this world? Where are our family attachments? We’ve never had any. ‘Who am I?’ ‘Where am I?’ We have forgotten these things. We have completely forgotten everything, including all of our senses. Where has our attachment gone? To You! We always remember You when You were in Vṛndāvana. We remember how we sometimes played together at Rādhā-kuṇḍa and Śyāma-kuṇḍa, and sometimes under Bhāṇḍīravaṭa, or in Nandagaon, and how we sometimes used to meet together at Ṭera-kadamba as well. How glorious it was!”

In those days, Śrīmatī Rādhikā used to go from Yāvaṭa to Yaśodā-bhavana with all Her sakhīs, headed by Lalitā and Viśākhā, to cook for Kṛṣṇa. Meanwhile, Kṛṣṇa was milking His cows midway, at Ṭera-kadamba. As Rādhikā walked with Her sakhīs, Lalitā said, “We should change our direction and go by that other path. This cheater has blocked our way. He’s only milking His cows here because He knows we will come this way. Better that we change paths.” Rādhikā replied, “Oh, why fear? We will not change our course. Let us see what happens.” As She continued walking, Kṛṣṇa began milking a cow so that Her whole face was splashed with milk, and everyone laughed. The gopīs always remembered all these pastimes. There were so many pastimes that Kṛṣṇa Himself could not describe them all, even if He were to have thousands and thousands of mouths.

Now the gopīs say, “We only remember those pastimes! We already feel so much separation from You, and now You are telling us, ‘You should meditate on My lotus feet.’ We’re not happy with this instruction. We’re not like the four Kumāras. Grandfather Bhīṣma and Nārada can meditate on You, but we want to forget You altogether! We don’t want to think about You, because You are very cruel and ungrateful.”

Kṛṣṇa wanted to hear all this. He lowered his head in shame and enjoyed thinking, “All the gopīs are blaming Me.”

The gopīs continue, “Previously, when we were in Vṛndāvana, You told us, ‘I am coming back tomorrow. If not, then surely I will come the day after tomorrow.’ But You never came! You never returned! You told Uddhava, ‘Tell them I am coming right away. I am coming after only four days.’ After that, Baladeva came to Vraja, and He said on Your behalf, ‘Oh, don’t be worried. Kṛṣṇa is coming very soon.’ But You never came.”

nahe gopī yogeśvara, pada-kamala tomāra,
dhyāna kari’ pāibe santoṣa
tomāra vākya-paripāṭī, tāra madhye kuṭināṭī,
śuni’ gopīra āro bāḍhe roṣa

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.141)

[“(In the mood of Śrīmatī Rādhīkā, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu said:) ‘The gopīs are not like the mystic yogīs. They will never be satisfied simply by meditating on Your lotus feet and imitating the so-called yogīs. Teaching the gopīs about meditation is another kind of duplicity. When they are instructed to undergo mystic yoga practice, they are not at all satisfied. On the contrary, they become more and more angry with You.’ ”]

“We don’t like Your mode of expression. Tāra madhye kuṭīnāṭī. There are so many things that are not good about it. Kuṭīnāṭī. Ku–ṭī–nā–ṭī. You are telling so many kuṭī, things that are not good, and nāṭī, things that are not favourable. You say, ‘You should try to meditate on Me and remember Me.’ But You know that since childhood, we could never forget You for even a moment.”

This is pure love, without desire for any gain. The gopīs continue, “You speak to us as if we are unintelligent, which makes us angry.”

deha-smṛti nāhi yāra, saṁsāra-kūpa kāhāṅ tāra,
tāhā haite nā cāhe uddhāra
viraha-samudra-jale, kāma-timiṅgile gile,
gopī-gaṇe neha’ tāra pāra

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.142)

[“(Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu continued:) ‘The gopīs have fallen into the great ocean of separation and are being devoured by the timiṅgila fish of their ambition to serve You. The gopīs are to be delivered from the mouths of these timiṅgila fish, for they are pure devotees. Since they have no material conception of life, why should they aspire for liberation? The gopīs do not want the liberation desired by yogīs and jñānīs, for they are already liberated from the ocean of material existence.’ ”]

The gopīs continue, “You speak about a well of material life (saṁsāra-kūpa), but where are we? We are in an endless, bottomless ocean of separation. And what is going on in that ocean? There are whales, and there are also fish called timiṅgila fish, which are so huge that they can even swallow those whales.”

vṛndāvana, govardhana, yamunā-pulina, vana,
sei kuñje rāsādika līlā
sei vrajera vraja-jana, mātā, pitā, bandhu-gaṇa,
baḍa citra, kemane pāsarilā

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.143)

[“It is amazing that You have forgotten the land of Vṛndāvana. And how is it that You have forgotten Your father, mother and friends? How have You forgotten Govardhana Hill, the bank of the Yamunā and the forest where You enjoyed the rāsa-līlā dance?”]

vidagdha, mṛdu, sad-guṇa, suśīla, snigdha, karuṇa,
tumi, tomāra nāhi doṣābhāsa
tabe ye tomāra mana, nāhi smare vraja-jana,
se — āmāra durdaiva-vilāsa

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.144)

[“Kṛṣṇa, You are certainly a refined gentleman with all good qualities. You are well-behaved, softhearted and merciful. I know that there is not even a tinge of fault to be found in You. Yet Your mind does not even remember the inhabitants of Vṛndāvana. This is only My misfortune, and nothing else.”]

The gopīs, and especially Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, continue to voice their apparent complaints. “Do you remember Vṛndāvana for even a moment? Do you remember Govardhana? In Vṛndāvana, we were all assembled in rāsa-līlā. At that time, when we were tired and perspiring, You used to wipe our bodies with Your pītāmbara (upper yellow garment).”

Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī tells Kṛṣṇa, “You would ask me, ‘Are you tired?’ and then I would keep My hand on Your shoulder.” She used to stand in a “crooked” way and look at Kṛṣṇa with “crooked” sidelong glances. She leaned on Him with all Her weight, as if He were a pillar, and She looked at Him from the corners of Her eyes. When She leaned on Him this way, He used to think, “Today, because of this pose of Rādhikā, My life is successful!”

“Do You remember this?” the gopīs continue. “Do You remember we defeated You in dice games? And Rādhikā used to defeat You in debate. Do You remember we used to meet with You in every grove of Girirāja-Govardhana? Do you remember we served You in so many ways at Rādhā-kuṇḍa and Yamunā-pulina (the bank of the Yamunā)?”

Do you know the meaning of Yamunā-pulina? In his song Yaśomatī-nandana, Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura has written yamunā-taṭa-cara gopī-vasana-hara, rasa-rasika-kṛpamaya. Kṛṣṇa would always come to the bank of the Yamunā, because He was very eager to meet the gopīs, and He would think, “If I go there, surely the gopīs will come to take water from the Yamunā with their very big pots. Why will they come? Because they have promised, and I have also promised.” That place on the bank of the Yamunā is called panaghaṭa, the place where Kṛṣṇa could easily meet with the gopīs.*** Because all the gopīs came there, Kṛṣṇa also came. Everyone else thought the gopīs would fetch water, but when they dipped their pots into the Yamunā, they never noticed whether the pots were filled with water. They knew only that their pots were filled with love and affection for Kṛṣṇa. They used to tell Him, “We cannot put these pots on our heads. Can You help us?” It was only for that kind of exchange that Kṛṣṇa would go there. He would lift their pots and proudly think, “I am helping them.”

Śrīmatī Rādhikā now asks Kṛṣṇa, “Do You remember all these pastimes on the banks of the Yamunā? Do You remember what pastimes we used to perform at Mānasi-gaṅgā? We always remember this! Do You remember Saṅketa-kuñja?” Saṅketa is halfway between Varṣāṇā and Nandagaon. “Do You remember Saṅketa? When I was on the swing with You, You pushed the swing so high that our garments flew here and there. I was afraid, and I embraced You and called out, ‘Save me! Save me!’ And that easily satisfied You. Do you remember?” As Kṛṣṇa heard all this, He was ashamed and held His head down.

By mood, the gopīs tell Kṛṣṇa, “It is very tragic. How could You have forgotten all Your sakhās like Dāmā, Śrīdāmā, Subala, Madhumaṅgala, Kokila, Kiṅkiṇi, Vasanta, and all others? How could You forget Your father and mother and all Your friends? It is quite astonishing that You could forget them all. You are very ungrateful, and Your heart is harder than a thunderbolt!”

While Śrīmatī Rādhikā and the gopīs were thinking this, they were in a particular type of very angry mood, but now their mood suddenly changed. Their various moods are called bhāva-udaya, bhāva-sandhi, bhāva-śābalya, and bhāva-śānti.**** Anyone who has not studied Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu, and what to speak of Ujjvala-nīlamaṇi, will not be able to taste these moods in thousands of lifetimes. One cannot know all these truths if one has not taken the saṅga of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s associates. He is bound to remain in the chain of birth, death, sorrow, and suffering. I have come to give this message of Caitanya Mahāprabhu, Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī, and our entire guru-paramparā.

The gopīs continue to accuse Kṛṣṇa in various angry and mixed moods. Suppose there is an ugly person who is very black and unqualified, and his teeth stick out of his mouth. Someone may say to him, “How handsome you are! Your teeth are more beautiful than if made of gold, and the whole world is charmed by your smile! You are so qualified!” What is this? It is sarcasm or parihāsa (a joke). Similarly, the gopīs’ words appear to mean, “You are very rasika – very, very rasika! You are also very sweet and not at all cruel. You have all the good qualities. Your tongue never speaks any lies; it can never do so. And Your hands are always controlled; they cannot do anything wrong.” But what do the gopīs really mean? They are actually taunting Kṛṣṇa, and telling Him, “Your tongue is always controlled. How is it controlled? It has kissed millions of gopīs, and now perhaps it is satisfied. Your hands and feet are always going towards the gopīs, searching for them. You have touched the gopīs, which is why Your tongue has become pure, You Yourself have become pure, and everything about You has become pure.”

The gopīs continue with words that cover their actual mood, and they tell Kṛṣṇa, “You are very sweet, and You have such a good character! You are very soft and mild, and You are also very merciful. All of these qualities are in You. But we are very unfortunate. Even though You are so qualified, sweet, soft, and merciful, You have left us, and this is our misfortune. We must have done something wrong, either in our past lives or in this life, and that is why You have left us.”

Nanda Bābā has also spoken in this way. When he returned home after leaving Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma in Mathurā, he was weeping bitterly. “There was only one true father,” he said, “Daśaratha Mahārāja. He could not survive in separation from Rāma. He called out, ‘Hā Rāma! Hā Rā…!’ and left his body. I cannot do this! My heart is very cruel, and it is harder than a thunderbolt. Why could I not die? I wanted to die, but I could not. Kṛṣṇa is very qualified in every way. He is sweet and mild, and He has all good qualities. He must have decided, ‘My mother and father, Yaśodā and Nanda Bābā, are not qualified, and neither are all the other Vrajavāsīs. They cannot give Me the love and affection I want,’ which is why He left us and went where He would receive more love and affection.” Speaking thus, Nanda Bābā fainted.

In the same way, the gopīs are telling Kṛṣṇa, “We are most unfortunate because You don’t remember any of us. We know we have no familial relationship with You, because we are not married to You. That is why a man can give up a lady, even if there is some love between them. On the other hand, if they are married, he will give his whole heart to her. We were not married, and that is why You could give us up so easily.

“But how could You give up Your mother and father, especially Your mother? Your body is made of Your mother, so how could You forget her? Even if You can give her up, Your body will always tell You, ‘I am the son of Mother Yaśodā’ because You are made from her blood and everything else. Strangely, You have left everyone.

“Do You know the birds are no longer singing because of You? The cuckoo birds have stopped singing and now they only weep. The peacocks do not dance now; they are very sad. The calves do not drink their mothers’ milk, and the cows are on the verge of death. They no longer eat grass or anything else, and Mother Yaśodā never cooks.”

Hearing this, Kṛṣṇa began to weep very loudly, and He was about to fall unconscious. There is a poem describing this, and it is very heart-rending.

tuhũ se rahili madhupura
vrajakula ākula, dukūla kalarava,
kānu kānu kôri jhura (1)

[“O Kṛṣṇa! You have gone far away to Mathurā. What has become of Your Vṛndāvana? All the Vrajavāsīs are extremely distressed. They call for You, saying, “Kānu, Kānu,” but only their echo is heard in response. Even the birds call for You, but no response comes. All are crying in separation.”]

yaśomatī-nanda, andha sama baiṭhai,
sāhase uṭhāi nā pāra
sakhā-gaṇa dhenu, veṇu-rava nā śuniye,
vichurala nagara bājāra (2)

[“O Yaśodā-nandana! Yaśodā Maiyā and Nanda Bābā are weeping incessantly. They have become as if blind and have given up eating and drinking. They cannot move anywhere; they only sit in one place and cry constantly. Not hearing the sound of the vaṁśī flute, the sakhās, and cows also cry without stopping. No one goes to the town marketplaces. It is empty everywhere.”]

kusuma tyajiyā ali, kṣiti-tale luṭhata,
taru-gaṇa malina samāna
mayūrī nā nācata, kapotī nā bolata,
kokilā nā karatahi gāṇa (3)

[“O Kānu! When You were in Vraja, the bumblebees used to drink the rasa of the flowers, but they no longer do so. In separation from You, they roll on the ground crying. The trees and creepers, feeling melancholy, are drying up. Now the peacocks do not dance, the female pigeons do not sing, and the cuckoos do not call out, ‘Kuhū-kuhū.’ Everyone is tossing and turning in separation.”]

virahiṇī rāi, viraha-jvare jarajara,
caudike viraha hutāśa
sahaje yamunā jala, āgi samāna bhelô,
kahatahi govinda dāsa (4)

[“Rādhārāṇī is burning in the fire of separation, day and night. In Vraja, in all four directions, only sounds of lamentation are heard. The water of Yamunā has become motionless and has abandoned her coolness, thereby becoming scorching hot as fire. The poet Govinda dāsa is saying, ‘O Kānu, all of Vraja is drowning in the great ocean of separation from You, so why do You reside in Mathurā?’ ”]

In this kīrtana, the Vaiṣṇava poet Govinda dāsa is singing in Rādhārāṇī’s mood, “O Kṛṣṇacandra, now You live very far away in Madhupurī – in Mathurā. But what is the condition of Vṛndāvana? All the Vrajavāsīs are feeling extreme pain and distress in separation from You. They call out, ‘Kānu, Kānu!’ But there is no answer, and only an echo is heard.” Kānu is a nickname of Kṛṣṇa. “Kānu, Kānu! O Kānu, where are You? Even the birds are calling, ‘Where are You? O Kānu, where are You?’ Everyone is weeping. O Yaśomatī-nandana, Yaśodā-maiyā and Nanda Bābā are crying bitterly. It is as if they have become blind; they cannot see anymore, and they only sit and cry. They have no strength, and they are hardly more than skeletons. They are about to die because they no longer cook anything. For whom will they cook? They lack the strength in their bodies even to stand up.

“And what is the condition of all Your cows and friends? They cannot hear You calling them with Your flute, so the marketplaces and the roads are deserted. No one is there; no one at all. Also, previously, the bumblebees were very busy collecting honey, but now they are so upset that they have left the flowers and are crying and rolling on the ground in the pain of separation.

“All the trees look drab and distressed. The peacocks no longer dance, and the pigeons no longer sing. The cuckoos are silent; they no longer call, ‘Kuhu, kuhu.’ Everyone is experiencing great pain due to separation from You.

“Virahiṇī rāī, viraha-jvare jare jare. Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī is burning and burning in the fever of separation. Everywhere, in all directions, everyone is sinking into the ocean of separation from You. Even the Yamunā no longer flows. This is the condition of Vṛndāvana! The water seen in the Yamunā is actually the tears that have fallen from the eyes of all the gopīs. Tuhuṅ se rahila madhupura. Why are you staying so far away in Mathurā, when everyone in Vṛndāvana is on the verge of death?”

There is another song by Caṇḍīdāsa, also written in the mood of Śrīmatī Rādhikā. The words of this song are heartbreaking, and it is unparalleled in any language in the world. You cannot hear these topics anywhere else:

sukhera lāgiyā, e ghara bā̃dhinu,
āgune puḓiyā gelô
amiyā-sāgare, sināna kôrite,
sakali garalô bhelô (1)

[“In the hope of finding happiness, I constructed this house, but fire has burned it down. In the hope of cooling my heart, I wanted to swim in an ocean of nectar, but it turned into an ocean of poison.”]

sakhī, ki mora kapāle lekhi
śītala bôliyā, cā̃da sevinu,
bhānura kiraṇa dekhi (2)

[“O sakhī, what misfortune is written in my destiny? Considering the moon to be very cooling, I went toward it, but it emitted the scorching rays of the sun and burned me.”]

ucala bôliyā, acale caḓinu,
paḓinu agādha-jale
lachamī cāhite, dāridrya beḓhalô,
māṇika hārānu hele (3)

[“Knowing the mountain to be very high, I climbed its peak, but then fell into a fathomless ocean of water. I desired wealth, but my poverty only increased. From somewhere a jewel came into my hand, but I have lost it.”]

nagara basālām, sāgara bā̃dhilām,
māṇika pābāra āśe
sāgara śukālô, māṇika lukālô,
abhāgī-karama-doṣe (4)

[“With the desire to obtain precious gemstones, I built a house on the shore of the ocean and then dammed up the ocean. But due to my fate, all the ocean water drained onto the other side of the dam; the gemstones hid themselves from me.”]

piyāsa lāgiyā, jalada sevinu,
bajara paḓiyā gelô
kahe caṇḍīdāsa, śyāmera pirīti,
marame rahalô śelô (5)

[“To quench my thirst, I tried to drink the water of a raincloud, but a thunderbolt struck me. Caṇḍīdāsa says that after loving Śyāma, all that has happened is that a trident has pierced his heart. ‘I loved Śyāma in hope of happiness. I gave my everything to Him, but He abandoned me and went away. Alas! Now what am I to do?’ ”]

“I built a house to be very happy there, but that house was suddenly burned in a fire. I wanted to take bath in the ocean of nectar in order to make My heart very cool, but instead it was crushed and burned. I wanted to go to the ocean to bathe and to make My heart soft, but I saw that all the water was gone. There was no water left at all. Then I looked toward the moon so that some of its cooling rays would come upon Me, but it turned out that those were not the cool rays of the moon; instead, the blazing hot rays of the sun came and scorched Me.

“I thought I was in a very high place where there was no water, but instead I see that I’ve fallen into an endless ocean of water. I wanted wealth, but I became penniless. A very valuable jewel came into My hand, and then suddenly it was gone.

“I built a city near the ocean to get a valuable jewel from that ocean. Then I built a dam and redirected the ocean from one side to the other. However, the jewel was nowhere to be seen when the ocean was finally drained. It was hidden somewhere, due to My misfortune. I looked towards the clouds to quench My thirst, but instead of rain, a thunderbolt came on My head.

“I loved Kṛṣṇa to be happy, and I gave Him My body, mind, heart, soul, and everything, but He left Me. The fire of separation enveloped Me, and I was burned. Kṛṣṇa’s love is endless like the ocean, and I wanted to take a bath in that ocean; but what happened? The water dried up and in its place was a great conflagration. Everything burned in separation. What should I do?” Kṛṣṇa would not be able to survive if He were to hear all these heartbreaking words.

These feelings of Śrīmatī Rādhikā are the mood at Ratha-yātrā, and this is Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s mood at that time. He experiences all the sentiments of Rādhikā, and no one can explain Her moods without the help of His bhāvas. His moods have been passed on through Śrī Svarūpa Dāmodara to Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī and Śrīla Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī, who have expressed them in their own writings. Try to realise all these truths.

This subject matter is very extraordinary. It is no less in-depth and significant than Rāmānanda-saṁvāda (Mahāprabhu’s conversation with Rāya Rāmānanda as found in Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta); in fact, it is even deeper. Kṛṣṇa has promised, “I will never, never give up Vṛndāvana; I will always be there.” Rādhikā has also promised, “Kṛṣṇa may go, but I cannot leave Vṛndāvana.” Then who went to Kurukṣetra? There are innumerable manifestations of Kṛṣṇa, and so many of Rādhikā as well, and this is very wondrous. Kṛṣṇa can be thousands and thousands of Kṛṣṇas at the same time. Yet, there can be millions more manifestations of Rādhikā than there are of Kṛṣṇa (as She displayed during rāsa-līlā). She is very expert.

Rādhikā and Kṛṣṇa eternally play with Their gopī associates in Vṛndāvana, where Rādhikā is called Vṛṣabhānu-nandinī Rādhikā. She never leaves Vṛndāvana, and She hardly ever laments. So, who was lamenting in Nandagaon when Uddhava went there? Rādhikā is always with Kṛṣṇa, so how did this separation come about?

Who went to Mathurā and Dvārakā? Kṛṣṇa’s manifestations went. Similarly, who was weeping bitterly with all Her sakhīs in Nandagaon? It was Viyoginī-Rādhā. She was the one whom Uddhava met, who was feeling intense separation, and who recited Bhramara-gīta, which is one of the jewels of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam.

Who went to Kurukṣetra? It was Vṛṣabhānu-nandinī Rādhikā, but in Her manifestation as Saṁyoginī-Rādhikā. She is the same Rādhā, but as a manifestation. She went to Kurukṣetra, and there She attracted Kṛṣṇa to return to Vṛndāvana.

Tad viddhi praṇipātena paripraśnena sevayā (Bhagavad-gītā, 4.34). Everything is reconciled when you approach a realised spiritual master, submissively inquire of and serve him. This process will enable you to realise everything automatically. Your mental speculation alone will not suffice. You may be a learned person, but your learning will not help you; instead, it will betray you.

I have been explaining the moods of the gopīs at Kurukṣetra and Kṛṣṇa’s statements to them. You can also study this subject, but only a rare person can go into it deeply. It is stated in Rādhā-rasa-sudhā-nidhi (4):

yo brahma-rudra-śuka-nārada-bhīṣma-mukhyair
ālakṣito na sahasā puruṣasya tasya
sadyo vaśī-karaṇa-cūrṇam ananta-śaktiṁ
taṁ rādhikā-caraṇa-reṇum anusmarāmi

[“Following in the footsteps of our previous ācāryas, I meditate upon the footdust of Śrīmatī Rādhikā, whose unlimited power instantly controls the Supreme Person Śrī Kṛṣṇa, who is not easily seen even by great souls like Brahmā, Śiva, Śukadeva, Nārada Muni and Bhīṣma.”]

Brahmā, Rudra (Śaṅkara), Bhīṣma, Nārada, and others like them are very advanced jñānī-bhaktas. They are all ātmārāma and āptakāma (fully satisfied internally and externally, respectively), yet even they can only rarely have darśana of Kṛṣṇa, and what to speak of having darśana of Rādhikā. The demigods came during Kṛṣṇa’s rāsa-līlā, but they only saw Kṛṣṇa dancing and singing; they did not see the gopīs. On the other hand, their wives saw Kṛṣṇa with the gopīs and fainted. The author of this prayer, Śrī Prabodhānanda Sarasvatī, says that if Kṛṣṇa knows that someone has on his head a minute dust particle from Śrīmatī Rādhikā’s lotus feet, He will wholly and solely give Himself to that devotee.

Devotees like Brahmā, Rudra, Śuka, Nārada, Bhīṣma, and the four Kumāras – Sanaka, Sanandana, Sanātana, and Sanatkumāra – are all very elevated, and they are prominent among the twelve mahājanas. Yet they cannot control Kṛṣṇa. On the other hand, cūrṇam ananta-śaktim: the dust of Rādhikā’s lotus feet is so powerful that it can control Kṛṣṇa very easily. Kṛṣṇa may be happy and satisfied with the love and affection He receives from these other devotees, but compared to the gopīs, they cannot control Him in the slightest degree.

If one wants to control Kṛṣṇa, he must search for Śrīmatī Rādhikā’s foot-dust – even a single particle of that foot-dust – and try to collect it. In other words, he must accept the guidance of Śrī Rūpa Gosvāmī, Śrī Sanātana Gosvāmī, and Śrī Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī, who are Rūpa Mañjarī, Lavaṅga Mañjarī, and Rati Mañjarī in Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes. Kṛṣṇa will be controlled at once if He knows, “These are the maidservants of Rādhikā,” but no one can control Him otherwise. Try to become a particle of dust of Rādhikā’s lotus feet.

When Brahmā went to Vṛndāvana and saw Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes, he personally prayed:

śrī-brahmovāca
naumīḍya te ’bhra-vapuṣe taḍid-ambarāya
guñjāvataṁsa-paripiccha-lasan-mukhāya
vanya-sraje kavala-vetra-viṣāṇa-veṇu-
lakṣma-śriye mṛdu-pade paśupāṅgajāya

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.14.1)

[“(Lord Brahmā said:) ‘My dear Lord, You are the only worshipable Lord, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and therefore I offer my humble obeisances and prayers just to please You. O son of the king of the cowherds, Your transcendental body is dark blue like a new cloud, Your garment is brilliant like lightning, and the beauty of Your face is enhanced by Your guñjā earrings and the peacock feather on Your head. Wearing garlands of various forest flowers and leaves, and equipped with a herding stick, a buffalo horn and a flute, You stand beautifully with a morsel of food in Your hand.’ ”]

Śrī Śukadeva Gosvāmī is also an exalted devotee, and in Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes, he is a special parrot belonging to Śrīmatī Rādhikā. He always sits on Her hand, and She caresses him, feeds him pomegranate seeds, and teaches him to chant, “Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa,” “Govinda,” “Vrajanātha,” and “Prāṇanātha.” Śuka always remains in the association of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, and he may even be there to awaken Them during Their pre-dawn pastimes of niśānta-līlā. That Śuka became Śukadeva Gosvāmī, and yet Śrī Prabodhānanda Sarasvatī says that even Śukadeva Gosvāmī cannot control Kṛṣṇa. He can serve Kṛṣṇa, but only the members of Śrīmatī Rādhikā’s party can fully control Him.

Śrī Nārada Ṛṣi went to Gokula in Vṛndāvana and thought, “Kṛṣṇa has just descended to this world, so Rādhikā must also be present somewhere.” He went to Rāval and discovered Her there. After that, he performed severe austerities at Nārada-kuṇḍa and became Nāradī-gopī, but even Nāradī-gopī cannot control Kṛṣṇa.

Kṛṣṇa Himself became a bumblebee and went to Nandagaon. There, He took darśana of Rādhikā when She was in mahābhāva-divyonmāda, but He was still unable to understand the depth of Her mood. Three desires then manifested in His heart. He became intensely eager to relish the exalted state of Her praṇaya (loving mood), Her appreciation of His sweetness, and the rapture in Her heart at that time. Kṛṣṇa could never go deep enough to understand Rādhikā’s moods of mādana- and modana-mahābhāva fully. Her highest mood of love, sva-saṁvedya-daśā, never comes in Him, for He is the viṣaya (the object of love).***** It only comes in the āśraya (the reservoir of love). That is why Kṛṣṇa, in the form of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, went to the bank of Godāvarī and was admitted into the school of Rādhikā’s personal secretary, Viśākhā, who was there in the form of Rāmānanda Rāya. Mahāprabhu heard many instructions there. He learned about Rādhā’s moods, then went to Purī and realised those moods and relished them.

Śrīmatī Rādhikā’s sakhīs, who are Her party members, can understand and realise Her moods to some extent, more so than Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa is akhila-rasāmṛta-sindhu, the object of love, but He is not the container of love. The container or reservoir is the āśraya–bhakta.

It has been explained in the above verse from Rādhā-rasa-sudhā-nidhi (yo brahma-rudra-śuka-nārada) that neither the four Kumāras, nor Nārada as a gopī, nor even Śukadeva Gosvāmī as Rādhikā’s parrot can fully control Kṛṣṇa. Even Uddhava could not realise the moods of the gopīs, although he went to Vṛndāvana and had their association there. That is why he prayed:

vande nanda-vraja-strīṇāṁ
pāda-reṇum abhīkṣṇaśaḥ
yāsāṁ hari-kathodgītaṁ
punāti bhuvana-trayam

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.47.63)

[“I repeatedly offer my respects to the dust from the feet of the women of Nanda Mahārāja’s cowherd village. When these gopīs loudly chant the glories of Śrī Kṛṣṇa, the vibration purifies the three worlds.”]

Be very humble, and hollow like a flute, and then go to Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam and Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta and pray. Then you will very easily realise something. You will realise that the gopīs’ moods are the most elevated.

caitanya-gosāñira līlā — ananta, apāra
‘sahasra-vadana’ yāra nāhi pāya pāra

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 14.256)

[“The pastimes of Lord Caitanya are unlimited and endless. Even Sahasra-vadana, Lord Śeṣa, cannot reach the limits of His pastimes.”]

Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Gosvāmī has explained here that Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s pastimes are unlimited, endless, and unfathomable, and even Ananta-śeṣa Baladeva Prabhu cannot explain them all with His unlimited mouths, even in unlimited time. How deep these pastimes are! Even Kṛṣṇa cannot know their depth, although He is an ocean of rasa. Yet, one can easily know something of their depth by taking shelter at the feet of Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī and Śrīla Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī.

śrī-rūpa-raghunātha-pade yāra āśa
caitanya-caritāmṛta kahe kṛṣṇadāsa

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 14.257)

[“Praying at the lotus feet of Śrī Rūpa and Śrī Raghunātha, always desiring their mercy, I, Kṛṣṇadāsa, narrate Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, following in their footsteps.”]

You will be successful in your spiritual life if you cultivate a positive understanding and mood. It will not be enough just to think, “Not this, not this, not this.” Absorption in the positive must be accompanied by negation of the negative; otherwise, you cannot advance. This is true, but still, absorption in negation will not help you very much. To advance in bhakti, one should try to understand these topics.

The gopīs tell Kṛṣṇa, “We cannot live without You. We cannot maintain our lives without You. It will be better if You come to Vṛndāvana, and Vṛndāvana is non-different from our hearts. If You don’t come, You will see Vṛndāvana become completely lifeless. Everyone and everything there will die.”

śuniyā rādhikā-vāṇī, vraja-prema mane āni,
bhāve vyākulita deha-mana
vraja-lokera prema śuni’, āpanāke ‘ṛṇī’ māni’,
kare kṛṣṇa tāṅre āśvāsana

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.148)

[“After hearing Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī’s statements, Lord Kṛṣṇa’s love for the inhabitants of Vṛndāvana was evoked, and His body and mind became very much perturbed. After hearing of their love for Him, He immediately thought Himself to be always indebted to the residents of Vṛndāvana. Then Kṛṣṇa began to pacify Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī as follows.”]

prāṇa-priye, śuna, mora e-satya-vacana
tomā-sabāra smaraṇe, jhuroṅ muñi rātri-dine,
mora duḥkha nā jāne kona jana

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.149)

[“My dearest Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, please hear Me. I am speaking the truth. I cry day and night simply upon remembering all you inhabitants of Vṛndāvana. No one knows how unhappy this makes Me.”]

When Kṛṣṇa heard the gopīs’ desperate words, and especially when He heard from Rādhikā, He became restless and could not control Himself. He thought, “I cannot repay the Vrajavāsīs,” and He pacified all the gopīs, especially Rādhikā. He wept as He replied: “Prāṇa-priye, śuna, mora e-satya-vacana – My most beloved, I am telling you the truth with My pure heart. Tomā-sabāra smaraṇe, jhuroṅ muñi rātri-dine, mora duḥkha nā jāne kona jana – My body is there in Dvārakā, but My heart is with You in Vṛndāvana. I am always restless, day and night, and I feel unbearable separation. There is no one in Mathurā to whom I can reveal My heart. I sent Uddhava to Vraja to be admitted into the school of gopīs so that he could learn something about the meaning of prema. I thought that if he were to become an expert, when he returned, I could describe to him the extent of My separation and he would realise My heart. But I see I cannot share My heart even with Uddhava, nor with Rukmiṇī or Satyabhāmā. I thus lament continually.”

vraja-vāsī yata jana, mātā, pitā, sakhā-gaṇa,
sabe haya mora prāṇa-sama
tāṅra madhye gopī-gaṇa, sākṣāt mora jīvana,
tumi mora jīvanera jīvana

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.150)

[“(Śrī Kṛṣṇa continued:) ‘All the inhabitants of Vṛndāvana-dhāma — My mother, father, cowherd boyfriends and everything else — are like My life and soul. And among all the inhabitants of Vṛndāvana, the gopīs are My very life and soul. And among the gopīs, You, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, are the chief. Therefore You are the very life of My life.’ ”]

tomā-sabāra prema-rase, āmāke karila vaśe,
āmi tomāra adhīna kevala
tomā-sabā chāḍāñā, āmā dūra-deśe lañā,
rākhiyāche durdaiva prabala

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.151)

[“My dear Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, I am always subservient to the loving affairs of all of you. I am under your control only. My separation from you and residence in distant places have occurred due to My strong misfortune.”]

We are all helpless when it comes to stopping death. Actually, we are helpless in every way. Similarly, Kṛṣṇa is saying, “Now I am helpless, and You are also helpless. The creator has forcibly taken Me very far away from You and from My birthplace in Gokula. This is My misfortune.”

priyā priya-saṅga-hīnā, priya priyā-saṅga vinā,
nāhi jīye, — e satya pramāṇa
mora daśā śone yabe, tāṅra ei daśā habe,
ei bhaye duṅhe rākhe prāṇa

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.152)

[“When a woman is separated from the man she loves or a man is separated from his beloved woman, neither of them can live. It is a fact that they live only for each other, for if one dies and the other hears of it, he or she will die also.”]

Kṛṣṇa continues, “It is true that a woman cannot maintain her life without her beloved. And that beloved also cannot maintain his life without his dear one. Mora daśā śone yabe, tāṅra ei daśā habe, ei bhaye duṅhe rākhe prāṇa. Why does a woman not die when she is separated from her lover? She remains alive only by thinking, ‘If I die, my beloved will weep bitterly, and he may also die. So I should not die. I don’t want to give him any suffering.’ Her lover also thinks, ‘If I die, she will suffer grievously, and then she may die of separation.’ For this reason, neither wants to die.”

sei satī premavatī, premavān sei pati,
viyoge ye vāñche priya-hite
nā gaṇe āpana-duḥkha, vāñche priyajana-sukha,
sei dui mile acirāte

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.153)

[“Such a loving, chaste wife and loving husband desire all welfare for each other in separation and do not care for personal happiness. Desiring only each other’s well-being, such a pair certainly meet again without delay.”]

This is an important point. The only chaste lady is one who has such overwhelming love and affection for her beloved that she always thinks of his welfare, even in separation. Rāma told Sītā, “I must abandon you for the rest of my life.” He sent her to the forest, and she wept bitterly in deep separation. She might have died in separation, but she was pregnant at that time, and her two sons, Lava and Kuśa, were born soon afterwards. Although she suffered on account of her husband, she would say, “I don’t consider whether he has done right or wrong. I only want him to be happy, wherever he is.”

At that time, Rāma was in his grand royal palace, but he gave up his pillows, his bed, and every other convenience. He became austere and renounced there, and he slept on a mat on the ground, just as Sītā-devī did. Instead of enjoying delicious food, he ate only some fruit to sustain his life. He always felt the piercing pain of her separation, and it was because he could not survive without her that he performed fire sacrifices and made statues of her.

The chaste lady with love and affection for her beloved husband always thinks of his welfare; even if he does something wrong, she doesn’t mind. And the man also thinks similarly about his wife or his beloved. Nā gaṇe āpana-duḥkha, vāñche priyajana-sukha, sei dui mile acirāte. Neither of them cares about their own happiness or suffering. They always think of the happiness and suffering of their loved ones.

You should try to understand the instructions given here and follow them. If you want to enter that transcendental realm, then you should begin these dealings with your gurudeva. If gurudeva is a very high-class devotee, if he has love and affection for you, and if he is taking you more and more toward Kṛṣṇa consciousness, place your whole concentration on him. Don’t think about your own suffering and happiness. Rather, think, “How can I please my gurudeva?” If this mood is not present in a disciple, he is bound to give up the line of devotion. It is stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam:

śrī-prahrāda uvāca
śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ
smaraṇaṁ pāda-sevanam
arcanaṁ vandanaṁ dāsyaṁ
sakhyam ātma-nivedanam

iti puṁsārpitā viṣṇau
bhaktiś cen nava-lakṣaṇā
kriyeta bhagavaty addhā
tan manye ’dhītam uttamam

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (7.5.23–4)

[“(Prahlāda Mahārāja said:) ‘Hearing and chanting about the transcendental holy name, form, qualities, paraphernalia and pastimes of Lord Viṣṇu, remembering them, serving the lotus feet of the Lord, offering the Lord respectful worship with sixteen types of paraphernalia, offering prayers to the Lord, becoming His servant, considering the Lord one’s best friend, and surrendering everything unto Him (in other words, serving Him with the body, mind and words) — these nine processes are accepted as pure devotional service. One who has dedicated his life to the service of Kṛṣṇa through these nine methods should be understood to be the most learned person, for he has acquired complete knowledge.’ ”]

In this verse, Śrī Prahlāda Mahārāja uses the word puṁsārpitā to advise us that one must first offer oneself onto the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa. To understand this instruction, we must know that there are two Kṛṣṇas. The first is guru-bhagavān, and the second is kṛṣṇa-bhagavān. The first is āśraya (the abode of service), and the second is viṣaya (the object of service). The qualifications of a mahā-bhāgavata guru are explained in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam and the Upaniṣads. You should have strong faith in such a guru and try to please him. He is very powerful, and by his own power, he will transfer your sentiments to Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa and Mahāprabhu.

Prahlāda Mahārāja instructs us that one should not only surrender, but also always engage one’s heart, mind, and all one’s senses to please that sad-guru. The disciple can please him if he always chants and remembers, glorifies bhakti, Kṛṣṇa, and Mahāprabhu, and preaches and practices bhakti-yoga. Then he will be happy.

Śrīla Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura has explained how Rūpa Gosvāmī pleased his guru:

śrī-caitanya-mano-‘bhīṣṭaṁ
sthāpitaṁ yena bhū-tale
svayaṁ rūpaḥ kadā mahyaṁ
dadāti sva-padāntikam

[“Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī Prabhupāda has established within the material world the mission to fulfill the desire of Lord Caitanya. When will he give me shelter at his lotus feet?”]

So many devotees have pleased their gurus, but the author of this śloka has given the example of Rūpa Gosvāmī. Rūpa Gosvāmī knew what Caitanya Mahāprabhu wanted and why He descended to this world. Therefore, he wrote books such as Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu and Ujjvala-nīlamaṇi. He established the message of Caitanya Mahāprabhu and the method to please Him.

Kṛṣṇa continues: “Nā gaṇe āpana-duḥkha, vāñche priyajana-sukha, sei dui mile acirāte – if the lover and beloved engage in this way, they will be able to meet again.” Here, Kṛṣṇa is consoling the gopīs, assuring them they will certainly meet again.

rākhite tomāra jīvana, sevi āmi nārāyaṇa,
tāṅra śaktye āsi niti-niti
tomā-sane krīḍā kari’, niti yāi yadu-purī,
tāhā tumi mānaha mora sphūrti

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.154)

[“You are My most dear, and I know that in My absence You cannot live for a moment. Just to keep You living, I worship Lord Nārāyaṇa. By His merciful potency, I come to Vṛndāvana every day to enjoy pastimes with You. I then return to Dvārakā-dhāma. Thus You can always feel My presence there in Vṛndāvana.”]

We should try to realise Kṛṣṇa’s statements. Do you have madīya-bhāva (the sense of possessiveness) toward gurudeva and the pure devotees? If not, then all your endeavours in spiritual life are zero, and you will not be able to accomplish anything. You should think, “Gurudeva is mine. I have left my father, mother, sister, and family for Kṛṣṇa, and my gurudeva can give me Kṛṣṇa. Now he is my everything.” Such attachment to gurudeva will come through cultivation. If we are not attached to gurudeva and very much attached to everyone else, there is something wrong. There are two conceptions in relation to service to gurudeva. The first conception is, “I will serve all the devotees to please my gurudeva.” The other conception is, “I will please all the devotees to serve my gurudeva.” Our motive should be, “I want to please my gurudeva,” not to please everybody else. Whatever we do should be to please gurudeva, not to please everybody else. You can never please everyone.

yasya prasādād bhagavat-prasādo
yasyāprasādān na gatiḥ kuto ‘pi
dhyāyan stuvaṁs tasya yaśas tri-sandhyaṁ
vande guroḥ śrī-caraṇāravindam

Śrī Gurvāṣṭakam (8)

[“One receives Kṛṣṇa’s benedictions by the mercy of the spiritual master, and one cannot make any advancement without his grace. Therefore, I should always remember and praise him. At the three junctions of the day – morning, noon, and evening – I should offer my respectful obeisances unto the lotus feet of my spiritual master.”]

Everyone will be pleased if gurudeva is pleased, and even if others are not, there is no harm, as long as he is pleased. If Kṛṣṇa is somewhat angry with me, no harm; gurudeva will save me. But if gurudeva is unhappy, even Kṛṣṇa cannot save me. He will say, “You should go to your gurudeva.” We should know this fact. When Durvāsā Ṛṣi tried to kill Ambarīṣa Mahārāja, Kṛṣṇa saved Ambarīṣa Mahārāja and began to chase Durvāsā Ṛṣi with His Sudarśana cakra. Durvāsā ran throughout the universe and finally reached the Vaikuṇṭha planet within this universe, where he begged Bhagavān to protect him. However, Bhagavān told him, “I cannot do anything to save you. You should go to Ambarīṣa Mahārāja.”

Kṛṣṇa continues, “I worship Nārāyaṇa to please You, so that You will not die of separation from Me. By His merciful potency, I go to Vraja to meet You. I wipe the tears from Your face with My pītāmbara, and I embrace You; and You think, ‘Kṛṣṇa is in Dvārakā, so how can He come here? Perhaps I was dreaming or saw a sphūrti (momentary vision).’ On the other hand, as soon as You see a tamāla tree, You think, ‘Kṛṣṇa has come.’ When I really come to You, You think, ‘Kṛṣṇa has not come. It was just a sphūrti,’ but this is not true. I always come to You, and I meet and embrace You. I sport with You, and then I return to Dvārakā. Then, when Your condition is one of extreme separation again, I come to You again. I always do this.”

mora bhāgya mo-viṣaye, tomāra ye prema haye,
sei prema — parama prabala
lukāñā āmā āne, saṅga karāya tomā-sane,
prakaṭeha ānibe satvara

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.155)

[“Our love affair is more powerful because of My good fortune in receiving Nārāyaṇa’s grace. This allows Me to come there unseen by others. I hope that very soon I will be visible to everyone.”]

“I think that Your unprecedented love and affection will very soon make Me come in such a way that everyone will see Me. I have killed many kings and powerful demons fighting for Kaṁsa, but still some are left.”

yādavera vipakṣa, yata duṣṭa kaṁsa-pakṣa,
tāhā āmi kailuṅ saba kṣaya
āche dui-cāri jana, tāhā māri’ vṛndāvana,
āilāma āmi, jāniha niścaya

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.156)

[“I have already killed all the mischievous demons who are enemies of the Yadu dynasty, and I have also killed Kaṁsa and his allies. But there are two or four demons still living. I want to kill them, and after doing so I shall very soon return to Vṛndāvana. Please know this for certain.”]

“You may say, ‘Come immediately,’ ” Kṛṣṇa tells Rādhikā and the gopīs, “but if I am in Vraja, the demons will decide, ‘Kṛṣṇa is there in Vṛndāvana with His father and mother, Nanda and Yaśodā, and all His friends. We should try to kill them all. He has no fort, no army, and nothing with which to fight.’ That is why I purposely remain here in the fort of Dvārakā, surrounded by water on every side, and protected by many armies. If I were in Vṛndāvana and the opposition party came to know of it, I would not be able to save You. That is why I do not come right away. I must first kill the remaining demons.”

sei śatru-gaṇa haite, vraja-jana rākhite,
rahi rājye udāsīna hañā
yebā strī-putra-dhane, kari rājya āvaraṇe,
yadu-gaṇera santoṣa lāgiyā

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.157)

[“I wish to protect the inhabitants of Vṛndāvana from the attacks of My enemies. That is why I remain in My kingdom; otherwise I am indifferent to My royal position. Whatever wives, sons and wealth I maintain in the kingdom are only for the satisfaction of the Yadus.”]

Kṛṣṇa continues, “My only consideration is that the Vrajavāsīs should not suffer or be disturbed. I live in Dvārakā, but I am indifferent to My kingdom and associates there, My many queens, and My numerous sons and daughters. I have no attachment to them. Rather, I am suffering due to deep separation from the Vrajavāsīs. Yebā strī-putra-dhane, kari rājya āvaraṇe. To satisfy the Yadus, I have married many princesses and live like a king in Dvārakā. They are my father’s friends. My father is Nanda Bābā, and everyone in the Yadu dynasty, such as Vasudeva and the others, is a friend of Nanda Bābā. That is why I remain in Dvārakā; otherwise I would have already gone to Vṛndāvana.”

tomāra ye prema-guṇa, kare āmā ākarṣaṇa,
ānibe āmā dina daśa biśe
punaḥ āsi’ vṛndāvane, vraja-vadhū tomā-sane,
vilasiba rajanī-divase

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.158)

[“Your loving qualities always attract Me to Vṛndāvana. Indeed, they will bring Me back within ten or twenty days, and when I return I shall enjoy both day and night with You and all the damsels of Vrajabhūmi”]

“I will kill the rest of the demons very quickly, within ten days. Then I will come back very soon. In fact, You can consider that I have already come.”

eta tāṅre kahi kṛṣṇa, vraje yāite satṛṣṇa,
eka śloka paḍi’ śunāila
sei śloka śuni’ rādhā, khāṇḍila sakala bādhā,
kṛṣṇa-prāptye pratīti ha-ila

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya-līlā 13.159)

[“While speaking to Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Kṛṣṇa became very anxious to return to Vṛndāvana. He made Her listen to a verse which banished all Her difficulties and which assured Her that She would again attain Kṛṣṇa.”]

mayi bhaktir hi bhūtānām
amṛtatvāya kalpate
diṣṭyā yad āsīn mat-sneho
bhavatīnāṁ mad-āpanaḥ

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.82.44)

[“Rendering devotional service to Me qualifies any living being for eternal life. But by your good fortune you have developed a special loving attitude toward Me, by which you have obtained Me.”]

“Mayi bhaktir hi bhūtānām amṛtatvāya kalpate. Sādhana-bhakti, devotional activities performed to attain Me, is like nectar, but Your bhakti is far superior to sādhana-bhakti. You have no anarthas, and You already have more than niṣṭhā, ruci, āsakti, bhāva, prema, and sneha.” There are two kinds of sneha: ghṛta-sneha and madhu-sneha. Māna follows sneha, and there are two kinds of māna. There are also two kinds of praṇaya, and after praṇaya comes rāga, anurāga, bhāva, and finally mahābhāva. Kṛṣṇa tells the gopīs, “You have everything. Sādhana-bhakti is very rare in this world, but what you have is not of this world. Your sneha, māna, praṇaya, rāga, and anurāga are only found in Goloka Vṛndāvana. This is why I cannot control Myself, and I am always bound to follow you; there will be no delay in My coming to you.”

When Śrīmatī Rādhikā was in Kadamba-kyārī, She remembered Kṛṣṇa deeply, with great love and affection. Weeping, She asked a bumblebee, “Is Kṛṣṇa coming? When is He coming? Is He on the way here? Can you tell Me? How is He? Does He remember His friends in Vraja-bhūmi? Does He remember His father and mother? Does He remember us? Does He remember Me? Does He at least say to any of His queens, ‘Rādhā is not as intelligent as you.’ Or, does He perhaps tell one of them, ‘That garland is not as good as the one that the gopīs used to make.’ ” While Rādhikā was speaking like this, She became unconscious.

This is the gopīs’ love and affection for Kṛṣṇa, and to attain it, we should try to take up bhakti from the beginning stages – starting from initial faith, associating with pure devotees, accepting initiation from a bona fide guru, and engaging in services under his direction.

Don’t look here and there, otherwise māyā will attract you. We should try to be like Kṛṣṇa’s flute; nothing is inside it. We should try to accept the “air vibration” that gurudeva breathes into “that flute,” because he has taken the moods of pure bhakti from his guru-paramparā, from Śrī Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa, and Caitanya Mahāprabhu. Your speculation will not do. You may be a learned person in the material sense, but that will not help you in spiritual life. Your intelligence will betray you. You should know this truth, and then you will realise everything. Everything will come automatically.

* Mahāprabhu “tested” Jagannātha by going behind the chariot to see if Jagannātha would continue onward without Him. Here, Mahāprabhu is in the mood of Śrīmatī Rādhikā, so She is testing Kṛṣṇa to see if He is willing to go and be in Vṛndāvana with the other gopīs if She is not there. Jagannātha’s stopping the chariot until Mahāprabhu pushed it very easily with His own head shows the superiority of Rādhikā over the other gopīs.

** Rādhikā had received a boon from Durvāsā Ṛṣi that whoever would eat her cooking would be very powerful, long-lived, and able to defeat all enemies.

*** Panaghaṭa has two meanings. Pan is an abbreviation for pāni, water. This ghāṭa was originally called pāni–ghāṭa, and later on it became known as panaghaṭa. Pan also means promise, and it is called panaghaṭa because Kṛṣṇa and the gopīs promised to meet each other there.

**** Please refer to the Glossary for explanations of these terms.

***** This refers to the most elevated state of kṛṣṇa-prema, which is experienced only by Śrīmatī Rādhikā and which is comprehensible only to that person who directly experiences it.

Source: Purebhakti.com

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Unless indicated differently, all verse translations and quotes are from the books by Śrīla Prabhupāda (Vedabase.com)